My Gift

It's been a fast month. I had a lot of preparing to do last week for a Dungeons and Dragons session on Jan 17th. The session itself was a mixture of awesome and odd. The important thing is that everyone had fun even though I wasn't fully prepped. The plot is starting to unfold and the next few sessions are all about "discovery". In terms of a movie, it's that middle section where you start to learn some facts but not everything is fully revelaed yet.

Work is just work, I haven't been giving it much thought recently. Next few weeks will be interesting as we get through review time, and I let my higher ups know that I will be taking the 4 weeks off in May/June. So far only one person I trust knows about the coming baby.

In the meantime, I'm trying to survive the cold weather with as much indoor running as I can handle. It's tough, so far the longest distance I've been able to manage is 12 miles, on Jan 1st. I haven't been able to do that again. That long on a treadmill just drives you nuts.

So on to the real reason for this post. Sometimes in life, you come across something you just have to share. This is one of those times. Not gonna say what it is, but just listen to the whole thing. Then, imagine Megan dancing around in a circle singing along. My gift to you is hopefully a smile.

Cold

Simply cold. On the radio this morning, they said it hadn't been this cold since 2004. In 2004, Andrea was working the late shift at Target collections, coming home at 11pm at night. I remember it because her car ended up breaking down somewhere right off the highway, and I had to pick her up in my Mom's truck. Now I know why she hated that commute so much... I think I might have been a bit insensitive about it at the time, seeing as how I wasn't even working...

Aside from the cold, this week is going well, I heard that my Mom and sister-in-law survived lay offs, so that's got to count for something. Watching unemployment rise, more companies disapearing, and the economy generally sucking is just a great way to stay positive. At some point you just have to shut your brain off to all of it, try to "do your best job" and just try to be ready for when the shit hits the fan. Nothing lasts forever.

I recently started thinking again about a topic that comes back to me every now and then, and that being my choice of worker drone status in life. I'm positive I've mentioned this quote before, but I can't find it in a quick search. It's from Ralph Waldo Emerson. Here's the short version:

The man who knows how will always have a job. The man who also knows why will always be his boss.

In the limited 10+ years I've been working, I've always been in the role of the man who knows how. I know how the system works, I know how to make improvments, and I know how to build it, maintain it, or fix it. I can start to see the importance of the why, the value in the why, but I still can't seem to make that leap to caring about the why.

Who gives a rats ass why some company is willing to pay some other company millions of dollars for services, technologies, or software products? Is the "why" important when the "business" asks for certian features? When a boss comes and asks you to do something, do you ask him "why"? No... so why ask why?

I think the answer lies in the full quote from Mr. Emerson, that being ambition. Do I have ambitions to be something other than a worker drone? Maybe... but figuring out what that means is the hard part. Maybe for me, it simply means having a goal of one day being my own boss?

Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it. The man who knows how will always have a job. The man who also knows why will always be his boss. As to methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.

Silly Resolutioners, Go Home

It's not that I'm against new years resolutions. I have a slew of them this year. Probably more this year than any previous year. This year they are a set of very specific things for very specific people for very specific reasons. Yes, I'm being vague because everyone of them is not for sharing.

But every year, it's the same damn thing at the gym. Jan 1st starts and all of a sudden, no parking spots at the gym. Lines for the treadmills. A slew of people walking... on my treadmills. Yeah, MY treadmills damnit. I'll come right out and admit it, I get straight up pissed off when I see 12 people all just walking on a treadmill. I'm happy you are trying to get healthy, but go walk around the mall or something.

Sigh... I'm falling over to the dark side I think.

I'm supposed to have a Dungeons and Dragons session next Saturday, and I haven't even started preparing. The holidays and all that really distracted. I was afraid when I added WoW back into the mix last month that it might cut into my D&D time, and sure enough, it has. I knew all along that if I wanted to do both hobbies, I'd have to prioritize my free time to split between the two. Time to hit the books and come up with some story lines... Go go creativity!

In the meantime, sounds like the end of this week is just going to dump tons of snow on us. That will be tons of fun for my commute. I think I'll just have to go in at like 5am on Friday so that I can leave at 3pm. Sounds like a good plan...

New Blarg Year

I made the mistake of reading the newspaper this morning. If there was anymore doom and gloom in there, you'd think I wrote some of the articles. From layoffs to bad economies and all the rest. What a way to ring in the new year!

Andrea and I were slated to do a dinner at the Palomino downtown on New Years Eve, but due to some unforeseen circumstances, were unable to go. Those same circumstances prevented my Mom from even being able to attend Christmas day with her family, but she is on the way to recovery now so that is good news.

Instead, I entered 2009 with a nasty cold. Seriously. 5 days of vacation, and I'm sick for more then half of it. I wasn't sick all year, and now this? Screw you karma, what the F#@* did I do to deserve that? I ended the year with 17 hours of unused sick time, that's how not-sick I was this year. Blarg.

There has got to be something positive to talk about, but it's hard to come up with anything the Sunday before going back to work, and the start of remainder of the winter grind. Those first months of the year are the longest, with no sunlight, crappy driving, and no days off until Easter.

Oh hey, wait. I just remembered the positive thing I was supposed to post about. Thankfully, the memory of it just erased all the above negativity. Sweet how that works.

WE ARE HAVING ANOTHER GIRL!!! (90% rule applies).

I'll be straight up honest and say I'm excited to have another girl. From already having all girl stuff to the pure fact that hey, I've done all my learning so far as a parent with a girl, so maybe a small percentage of it will apply the second time around. We haven't talked names yet, and I'm not sure if we will go straight back to the final "cut" list before, or if we will start fresh. I know personally, I will want to go back through and make a few new lists, but I already know that a some of my favorites from before are still going to be back.

So that's all for now, here's to making it through 2009 with positive results. Positive attitudes... maybe?

Beyond Cold

Just a few days left until Christmas and we got a crap load of snow and cold weather dropped on us. At least it waited until the weekend. Commute times have been horrible lately, taking as much as an hour or more. So far nothing has topped last years record of a 2 hour commute.

This last week has been full of ups and downs leading up to Christmas. From work, to family, to Megan, to me. I'm glad I ended up taking as much time off as I did, I can use the break. Just 4 working days for me left this year. (2 sets of Monday/Tuesday). This weekend we mostly just stayed inside, although we did get out today to do some shopping and over to my Mom's. I'm blogging from her computer now while everyone else is watching Shrek with Megan.

Christmas Eve we will be heading to the Anderson's in the evening. Seeing everyone will be great. There have been a number of bad things that have happened to pretty much everyone on that side of the family, so hopefully this will be a time to forget all that and just remember the good times. I think back on my life and how, no matter what else, Christmas Eve and Christmas day were always there. Always a time to see family, always a time to enjoy food, company, and for the kids, lots of gifts. I think about the future too and how much I want to hold on to that as long as I can, and perhaps, if needed, begin my own family traditions that Megan gets to grow up with year after year.

Speaking of that, Christmas morning will be just such a tradition. For the last few years we've decided to claim Christmas morning as the one "small" family thing we do. I love to make a big breakfast for everyone, something my Dad used to do from time to time. I can't recall if he did it every single Christmas morning, but it was something he is remembered for today. I like to think about him while I'm cooking for everyone. This year, Andrea's parents will also be making the drive up to spend the morning with us. Long story short, it means our Christmas time driving this year is going to be greatly reduced. Can't complain about that!

Probably won't get to post again until after Christmas, so I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful week. Stay safe and stay warm!!

Merry Christmas!

Seriously Slacking

Not enough posts make Shawn a dull blogger. Yes, I start out every post bitching about how I don't post enough. Tough, suck it up and deal with it. Somewhere right around Thanksgiving, I decided to start playing World of Warcraft again, which I had quit back in April. This time, I'm not going to get into any of the competitive aspects, it's purely going to be what it should have been all along: a night time hobby to pass some time. I'm going to miss the extra hours of sleep, but whatever. I've been sleeping too much as it is.

Anyway, that was a really long story to explain why I'm not blogging as much.

Last Monday, I came home to an awesome surprise. Out of no where, Megan sang her entire ABC's song to me! She had recently started singing the whole "Twinkle Twinkle" song as well, even to the point where she wouldn't want you to sing along with her sometimes. "No Daddy, I do it!" It was a joy to come home and hear her belt out the whole ABCs.

Not everything is going so well, I am still struggling with her physicality and dissobediance. Sure, it might just be normal 3 year old behavior, but it sure doesn't make it any easier. When I have no good comparisons to draw from, I just assume Megan is a little hellion. Punching and kicking me if I take away something, throwing toys at me if I don't do what she wants immediately when she wants it. Every night is excitement!

I've been thinking hard about my New Years resolutions, and finally came to some realizations. (don't I always?) For starters, I decided resolutions are usually by definition, somewhat selfish. I've decide this year that I'm going to make my resolutions in a slightly different way. One for myself, and all others for someone else. I'm sure this makes no sense, but again, whatever! I'll be the first to admit my brain hasn't been firing on all cylinders lately.

I Do It

This week was easier than last week despite the fact that it was a full week instead of 3 days. December is always a slow time for software development. One interesting thing did occur this week. It's one of those things that once again, I better not post about. Let's just say, I've officially lost all faith that the business has any clue what it's doing. Long story, but you're going to have to ask me in person.

In other news, Megan's Independence is hitting all new levels. I've always had this feeling she had more "independent" traits than normal kids. Positive things like never going through a separation phase when we left her places. And negative things like not listening to her parents. Either way, I think it's all starting to make sense. Meaning, I'm starting to see her personality emerging as a whole. Doesn't make it any less challenging, but at least I might be able to start focusing on the way her personality influences her actions. And if I'm lucky, maybe start to focus on how to guide her actions based on her personality. Make sense? Good.

Basically the last 2-3 weeks has begun the "I do it!" phase. Megan has to do EVERYTHING her self. And she will let us know. And then she will smack us or run away if we try to help. From putting clothes on, to pouring juice, to putting the toothpaste on her toothbrush. You name it, "I DO IT!". She won't even let me help her with the computer these day!

Yesterday we had a very nice visit with Santa Clause. Megan said she was going to ask Santa for party hats and candy for Christmas. And sure enough when we got there, she asked for party hats (she had party hats for her birthday party back in October). This may sound weird, but we saw Santa Clause at our realators office, Edina Realty. We had also gone there for Halloween to do jumpers and get a free pumpkin. I have to say, our realtors are very nice. After arriving, they gave us a big popcorn tin, a nice fleece blanket, and a stuffed Santa for Megan.

Megan and Santa:


Megan picked out what face painting she wanted. She choose Rudolph.


Not quite sure what to think about her expression, but I'm glad I captured it.


Checking herself out in a mirror after it was all done.

To Climb a Mountain

Thank you everyone for the congrats and well wishes. Also a big congrats to Adam & Pilar! I hope you guys are both doing very well. Plenty of time for more baby news later, so back to "me" things.

I finally finished reading Why We Hate Us. It was a struggle to get through the middle section, as it got very boring and almost rant-like as the author went on and on about politics, news media, and our obsessions with fake crap (like celebrities). But in the end, he finally brought it together. Honestly though, from a pure philosophical point of view, I would have rather just read the first two chapters and the last chapter.

His final thoughts really got me thinking, which is exactly what I had hoped would happen all along. It was the reason I got the damn book, because I felt like I identified in some way with what he was trying to say. He basically said that introspection is not the path to happiness. He drew an analogy that attempting to find happiness through introspection is akin to "climbing a difficult mountain simply because you want the picture on the office wall; you either won't make it to the top or the experience will be hollow and unimportant."

That struck a nerve with me. I'm not saying it's got me doing a 180 on how I think about things, but it does have me reflecting on decisions in a different light. The other core idea he presents is authenticity, and making decisions for authentic reasons. I have often stated out loud how I hate "fake" people, but how authentic am I?

Here is the core passage that I enjoyed tonight, I just wanted to share it in it's entirety:

For our purposes, trying "to climb a mountain to prove how big you are" is similar to trying to find your true self or worldly status to solve your life's problems. This is a doomed venture not just because it is selfish but because it's looking for happiness in all the wrong places. This is frustrating because society seems to promise that you can get to the summit of Mount Self going solo. But you can't. You can only climb. So much of our well-intentioned, high-toned modern soul searching is like an internal version of striving for material success, believing that you can get to the top of Mount Happy and Healthy, displaying yourself to the world in a way that will bring instant stature, respect, and love; that acquiring something - even something "spiritual" - can be an enduring part of your happiness and worth, be it a flat-screen television, fancy job title, tattoo, gun, tenured professorship, great body, wealth, fame, blond hair, a bigger house than your neighbor's, or a well-received book. It's like the hedonistic treadmill. Someone will always have a bigger television, car, bass boat, job and house, or a better book. So "you almost never make it," as Pirsig* said. If those are the goals you seek, you will "have to prove yourself again and again in some other way, and again and again and again."* You'll worry about being exposed.

So if you want to climb Mount Authenticity, think about the climb, about making decisions for authentic reasons. Those will, in turn, be unselfish decisions. Think about climbing well and being a good climbing partner to others. Don't fixate on the summit.

*Items are from Robert Pirsig's Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance which he quotes a lot.

M.I.A.

Nothing like the holidays to pull me away from any time to blog. Even now Megan is pulling at my arm and pissed that I want a few minutes to myself. I swear, last week was the longest short week I've ever had. It was like the 3 day work week that would never end. Thankfully it finally did, and I've been able to forget about work for a few days.

Thanksgiving was uneventful this year as we did our standard day of driving. First to New Ulm to Andrea's parents house for an early meal followed up with a drive back to my Mom's house for an evening meal. I decided this year to give up pie and for the most part succeeded, although I did sneak a few bites at my Mom's house because one of my aunts had made a bunch of home made pies. Normally we just have an army of Baker's Square pies.

Last night I took two of my friends out for a birthday dinner. They both have birthdays this week. It was a great visit, like it usually is. It's simply amazing how much can change in a single year (the last time we were all together). Combined, we all had some pretty major life events this year. Here's to hoping we can find more time to get together in 2009.

So speaking of change and 2009, I'm at that point where I'm thinking about the new year and things I want to change/do better/improve. Not sure where I'll end up, but I have a few ideas cooking. Some honestly too private to share, others that I'll probably post about. One way or another, I have this premonition that 2009 is going to be a very pivotal year (and not just for me).

The big news for me and 2009 is that Andrea and I are expecting our second child, due to arrive around May. I know it's kind of odd to just mention this for the first time at the end here, as opposed to an entire post devoted to the news. I'm sure those will come eventually! The important part: everyone is healthy and Andrea is doing great. She seems to be through the rougher morning sickness parts and she heard the baby's heartbeat earlier this month.

That's all for now, but expect more news in the coming weeks and of course, my yearly rambling about goals or, dare I say, my new years resolutions.

1am wake up call

You may recall at the beginning of the month I was mentioning having tough sleeping times at night. Well, it's 1am and I'm having another one. We went to bed around 9pm with Megan sleeping in our bed. She was having a rough night so we just decided to lay down. Fast forward to 12:30am and Andrea asked if I would move Megan down to her bed. It didn't go so well and by the end of it I was wide awake. After tossing and turning for 30 minutes, I decided to just get out of bed.

Oddly, work isn't the main thing keeping me up at this point. Oh, don't get me wrong. It's contributing no doubt. Today I stood up in front of a room full of CEOs, CIOs, CFOs, COOs, VPs, and directors (15-20 total?). Nerve wracking? Just a little bit. I survived, and now have one more life experience in my back pocket to draw from. Should I need to do it again, I'll probably do an even better job of it. Thankfully, my portion was a mere 10 minutes.

No, the thing keeping me up tonight is... drum roll... my hobby! Yes, sadly my one remaining form of entertainment, Dungeons and Dragons, is keeping me up. My mind is running through scenarios, ideas, plot lines, and all the rest. Added to that are my struggles with getting people together, and my constant thoughts of "Oh jeez, I should just give this all up." I've basically forced the guys I play with to give me more feedback that they actually enjoy playing enough to keep going. Because without that feedback, it just felt like I was forcing them to play for my own amusement.

We will be "playing" Saturday night. I put the quotes around playing, because honestly, I don't even know how much playing we will actually do. My brother won't be there, so that's one short already. Another guy is most likely working late, and hasn't got back to me with a specific time. So that leaves only 3 others... Not that we CAN'T run the session with 3 players and me, but it just makes it much more difficult. Not to mention, the whole continuity thing of "Oh and now that Neal is here, his guy magically comes walking in from around the corner."

I've also been putting together an "Adventure Website" for my own personal fun. I'd say in total, it was around 10 hours of work, so not too bad all things considered. The hardest part was finding a good starting template. I think I spent a whole hour searching google and finding something simple that I liked. The end result is sort of neat, and I thought it would be a fun way to track the adventure over time. And give the "storyline" more life, so the players could look back and review "Okay, what the heck happened 4 weeks ago at the last session?".

Shawn's crazy "I have too much time on my hands" AD&D Web site

Now I suppose, I'll try to go get some sleep. Gotta work in 4 hours!

Why I Need a Life

Okay maybe "life" is a bit much. More like, "why I need other things in my life besides work". That was just too long for a blog title. Work has been dragging on me lately. 10 hour days, end of the year type of crap, new stuff going out soon, etc. Same story really, only this time, it's almost anti climactic. I'm just too jaded.

I had this long post made up, and at the last minute decided it was just too much about work. Call me paranoid I guess. You hear about the whole "Oh my gawd, don't blog about work or you will get fired" crap. I guess I buy into that. It's sad really, because it's a pretty funny story. If you ever talk to me in person sometime, have me tell you the "The 50,000th bug" story.

I ran into my old physics teacher at the gym last night. It was fun seeing him, I suppose he was surprised I remembered his full name. He said he remembered me, although I just assumed he was being nice. But then again, if there was any teacher I had that would actually be able to remember students from 14 years ago, it would be Mr. Michels. We chatted for a bit, and I told him how over the years I always love to tell people the model rocket story.


The model rocket experiment involved launching a rocket and determining the height it reached using a known distance on the ground and a measured angle. Simple trigonometry. I had my normal rocket for the experiment, and also one of the smallest rockets you could buy, typically called "The Mosquito". I painted it all black, because that was cool. This rocket could only fit the smallest possible engine, size A.

After the experiment, I launched my Mosquito. It basically disappeared the moment it launched. It was too small to follow... Well, that was fun. Later on, someone ended up finding it in the field and brought it back to me. Mr. Michels had an idea. Let's tape the largest possible engine (size D) around it and then launch it! Hell ya, that sounds like a great idea!

The result? Just a little too much engine. It launched so fast, it got stuck on the wire of the launch pad, which fell over, and then shot straight off along the ground into some nearby woods. Mr. Michels looked around, and goes: "Don't tell anyone about that!"

When I mentioned to him that I loved to tell that story, he said that he still tells it in his classroom too! I'm sure his version is a little toned down, but it was fun to hear him say that. He also said that they had a new group simply called "The Rockets". They have competitions where they have to launch a rocket with an egg and altimeter inside, and reach an exact height of 750 feet. Then the rocket has to land within 45 seconds. Apparently the AVHS team has made it to nationals 4 times.

Googled up some links:
AVHS Rocket Team
Rocket Team seeks rarified air of national title (Sept 2007)

Hold on Tight

It's 11:11pm and I should be sleeping. But work is no fun, and I'd rather blog a response to Scooter, about this book I'm reading. A small part of me wonders if I'm just intellectually starved. Like when you eat that first bite of cottage cheese after a 10 mile run. Cottage cheese tastes "okay" by itself, but after a long run without breakfast? It tastes DIVINE!

I agree that we are better off than before. The point Meyers was trying to make is that our material well-being, health, and safety aren't proportionate to our psychic or emotional well-being. That's the part that I agreed with, and have tried to touch on in the past in my whiny sort of way. (then Keara comes in and tells me to count my blessings)

So now we are right back to the same question about happiness. How can one be unhappy given all the blessings mentioned above? (material well-being, health, and safety) And this author, in a long, drawn out, round about way tries to tackle that question. Not directly, but with small tid-bits here and there that I'm slowly trying to digest.

Sadly, the books focus is not a question on happiness, but of why Americans are discontent (his main beef it seems, is with media). Still, I find myself connecting to a lot of different things he has to say, especially a section on "Broadband Babies", referring to those born after the turn of the century, in the range of the 2020 college grads. It's hard not to think about that part in context of Megan, growing up in this age.

The problem with the book is that it is seriously ALL over the place. It's like a long stream of consciousness with not enough organization. It's an enjoyable read, but an odd mix of deep philosophical concepts with light anecdotal stories. But when he starts quoting my favorite philosopher (Søren Kierkegaard), I can't help but read on.

Truthiness

The other day, I was reading one of Andrea's magazines. I couldn't tell you the name of it without going upstairs to check it. The Week maybe? The important part is that somewhere in the magazine, I read the following quote from Mark Twain, which I think I've read before:

The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.

I then read an interesting story at the end of the magazine, which ended up being an excerpt from a book. Combined with the quote above, I decided to get my hands on this book: Why We Hate Us. Luckily, it was readily available at the Library.

In the second page of the preface, the author states, "I make no claims to originality..." A man after my own heart! I was hooked. About every other page of this book has some thought or idea I'd love to take and make a blog post about. (and in some small ways, have tried to)

Needless to say, I find myself agreeing with a lot of what Dick Meyer has to say about American culture, values, and why we hate us. I even agree with how he clearly states look, there are tons of people so bad off in society they don't have the luxury of the kinds of things I think (worry?) about. As he puts it, "They can't afford to indulge in social self-loathing."

But I can. And for no other reason then why a dog licks himself.

At one point, he quotes the book The Progress Paradox which basically states how all measurements of typical "standard of living" have increased since the end of World War II. "... just about every objective indicator of social welfare has trended upward on a pretty much uninterrupted basis for two generations."

What's the opposite of that? Just this:

But graphs would lose their skyward direction when the topics turn to the inner self. The trend line for happiness has been flat for fifty years. The trend line is negative for the number of people who consider themselves "very happy," that percentage gradually declining since the 1940s.

Am I looking to a very specific place to find validation of my own beliefs and thoughts about what happiness means? Maybe... But maybe that's exactly what *I* needed to be happier. Just confirmation that other people out there believe what I do. That see the fake, bullshit, and materialistic aspects of our culture for what they are. And that it's okay to hate the system you are part of.

On the last page of the preface, he also states, "I don't have answers." That sums it up right there. I never said I had answers either, or did I ever think there were any. But not having any answers shouldn't stop one from asking the questions or engaging in intellectual discourse about the things that, quite frankly, "make me hate us."

Sure Happy It's Thursday

Note: Blog title last used Thursday, March 02, 2006

Just to prove my unoriginality, I even copy from myself. Neat huh? Apparently that is the first time I had ever posted about work... weird. One of the things about work is that you can typically drone on for long periods of time, discussing in vague terms problems, struggles, communication issues, things that aren't being done well by management, etc. But the truth is, all that stuff is just bull shit rambling about things that have no meaning. (something I excel at)

In the 10 plus years that I've worked at the bottom of the ladder in my cube farm, the reality I've come to see is this: the people at the bottom doing all the work don't have enough power to make any decent change and the people at the top making all the decisions don't understand enough about how things really are to make good decisions.

In the end, people seem to just float along, some causing positive waves, some causing negative waves, but for the most part, just going along for the ride. And in the end, hoping that the ship doesn't sink so they can keep getting a paycheck. It isn't that people don't want to do a "good job" or "work hard", it's just that when the ship is so large, doing anything to change the course is pretty much impossible.

The cool part about being at the bottom of the ladder is this: if an iceberg is coming, you are usually the first one to see it way before anyone else. Not that I see any on the horizon right now, but I have my predictions. And in my experience, my predictions tend to turn out correct more often than I would like.

Case of the... oh who am I kidding

The weather today erased any Monday blahs. I couldn't BELIEVE how nice it was outside for another late season outdoor run. I also got out on Sunday at the last minute. I drove ALL the way to the gym before even realizing how nice out it was, and changing my indoor plans to outdoor. 3 days and 24 miles later...

It's amazing how my brain works. I had my standard "wake up at 2am for no reason" again last night, only this time it was different. For starters, it was Sunday, so by this time I had forgotten about any lingering problems/issues/lame crap at work. Added to that was the fact that we had made our decisions about our refinancing. End result? The 2am wake up was just a blip, as I drifted back to sleep almost immediately. Ahhhh was it nice.

I didn't post anything about Halloween yet, but we had a lot of fun Friday night. We made plans to go around with our neighbors, and their kids. Andrea was working with Megan part of the day, going over what we would do. Mainly we just wanted her to focus on saying the Trick or Treat and Thank you's. The first picture is actually from the previous weekend, when Megan was at my Mom's house on Saturday night. She wanted me to share that... The one after is the night of Halloween.





The night started out quite funny, because our neighbors arrived and lo and behold... Their daughter was also a Unicorn! We hadn't talked at all about what our kids were going to dress up as, so it was a surprise to everyone to see the girls dressed the same. Too funny!



The weather was great, the kids had a great time, Megan did well for the most part. She got tired eventually, which was understandable. That costume she had was very warm and heavy. I overdosed heavily on candy all weekend, but what else is new. There is a reason I don't buy candy, cause I can't stop eating it.

Well that's all for now. If I want to get more than 1 post up a week, I can't go on forever. Gotta save something to drone on about later this week.

Can't Sleep, Clowns Will Eat Me

Did you know that phrase originated from the Simpsons? Me either... This whole only blogging on Saturday crap has to end soon. I'll see what I can do about that, and try my best to get more crazy thoughts up during the week as well.

Turns out Andrea and I both couldn't sleep from 2am-4am this morning. We've both had trouble sleeping lately, from the Megan coming into the bedroom incidents, to stress, to everything else in between. Usually for me during the week I wake up and start thinking about work and CANNOT SHUT OFF MY BRAIN. Eventually I just have to use, I guess what you might call, focusing exercises. I have to basically concentrate on thinking about nothing. Trust me, it's not fun.

Last night for my 2am tossing and turning, I got into my usual thinking (worrying?) about the future, finances, work, and all that. You see, Andrea and I are on the brink of refinancing. We locked in a very decent rate of 5.875% on a 30 year fixed, along with a secondary interest only loan at U.S. Prime+1. That means the secondary will start (and have a floor) of 5%, due to recent cuts that have the current U.S. Prime at 4%. Needless to say, it's a decent set of loans.

The bad news, and the part that makes the decision harder is that we had the official appraisal, and it wasn't pretty. Our home value came back at $1,000 more than we paid for it. That's it. 0.13% value increase over 4 years! I'm trying to look at it in a positive way, and think, we'll at least in this worst period of home value, my home was able to maintain?

Overall, any refinance has associated fees and taxes, so there will be some costs associated with it, which in effect, cause us to "take a step back" in terms of overall loan debt. And with the home value what it is, our second mortgage is not going to go away any time soon, which was the whole goal of the refinancing to a 30 year fixed. (only have 1 mortgage) So if we go through with this refinance... it's going to have obvious long term implications. But not refinancing now could lead to even worse situations in 3 years, when our 7/1 ARM expires.

Hands down, the biggest impact is this: If we go forward with this refinance, we are basically in effect saying, Yes, we are going to live in this house for the next 5 years at a minimum. I have no doubts that we can make that work, and that ultimately, it is probably the better decision right now in our life (to stay put). And the truth is, back when all the home market shit hit the fan, I knew right then I would be unable to move for a long time. So it's not like this is some big surprise.

Now, if only gas could stay at $2.06 for the next 5-10 years... Maybe the commute wouldn't hurt so bad.

Poor Me, No Blogs

I meant to get another post up this week, so I didn't end up posting about running twice in a row. Sadly, the week just got away from me and I couldn't find the time. Where did my time go?

Sunday I saw Max Payne with my bro, which was enjoyable. Not a super awesome movie, but fun, and it made me want to install the games again (which I did). I actually had to make a choice tonight between blogging and playing Max Payne, and I decided to go with blogging. It's midnight, so maybe I can still squeeze in some video games too.

The rest of the week was filled in with the usual. Running on Monday and Tuesday night. Wed night I exchanged some jeans I bought on Sunday for a different size. Thursday night I had roleplaying. And then Friday we did something fun as a family, and went to the Rainforest Cafe in the MOA.

That pretty much brings us up to date with today, where this morning I ran quite the half marathon. The odds were slightly stacked against me, considering I have a bad cold. But 1:36:38 later, I ran the race exactly as I wanted, at a whopping 7:14 average pace. I can honestly say it was my strongest run of the year, and I was ecstatic about my time. The best part? No pain, no injuries, nada! I could run again tomorrow if I wanted to (which I don't!).

So there it is. Personal record #6 for the year. Did I mention I finished 56th out of 1018 people? I'm still trying to wrap my head around that one.

To finish up the weekend, we had a wedding tonight. My long time high school friend & running buddy finally tied the knot. Grandma Gayle watched Megan overnight and we enjoyed a solo evening. The service was just wonderful, at a church in Burnsville, and the reception was at the MN Zoo! Talk about convenience... It made for a great night just bouncing around from place to place so quickly.

And now... off to play some Max Payne.

Personal Records

10 hours of sleeping, that's a personal record! I haven't slept in for quite awhile since the last few weekends I've been getting up early for morning runs. But with the mornings now being 30 degrees, that's not happening. Odd thing is, Megan has been giving up her naps lately and she is STILL sleeping in.

The rest of this blog is going to be somewhat of a brag fest, so if you're not on board, might as well just stop reading now. This year of running has been good for me. If you had asked me at the start of the year if I could do some of the distances and paces I've accomplished this year, I would have laughed, but sure enough... I hit a lot personal records this year, including 5 "offical" race personal records and a personal distance record. Here are my records for the year:

Distance	Time	Pace	Date
1 m	5:51	5:51	New distance
6.2 m (10k)	45:32	7:21	April 26th
6.2 m (10k)	45:11	7:17	July 26th
13.1 m (half)	1:38:15	7:30	June 7th
15.5 m (25k)	2:08:06	8:16	New distance

The reason I mention these is because I have one last race coming up in a week, next Saturday. It's a half marathon and I'm thinking about trying to squeeze one more PR out of this year. I'm setting a goal of 96 minutes, which translates to a 7:20 pace. So basically, I'm going to attempt to run the half marathon at roughly a 10k pace.

That's rough... and there is big potential that I could hurt myself trying this but I want to give it a shot. I've been speed training a lot this last 2 months, which is in part why I got the recent injury. (I was coming off a speed run the previous day). Thursday of this week I did another speed test to see how my leg would hold out, and although there was no pain, around mile 5 I could feel the initial tightness so I slowed it down a bit. Ran last night with no lasting effects, so hopefully it will be ready for race day.

The thing I'm wondering is if perhaps this year has seen the peak of my running and it's all going to be down hill from here (pun intended).

Here are the details from Thursdays run. As you can see, I only hit my "goal" pace of 7:20 two times during the run. First at mile 5 where I felt GREAT at first, then slowed down, then again at the end of the run. The red line indicates the pace I'm going to try for... for 13.1 miles.

3 Come and Gone

It's weird how little time I spend on the computer now. Okay, let me clarify and define "now" as the last week or so. Basically I can't be on the computer when Megan is up, because it just leads to a fight between her and I about the fact that I don't want her on the computer, or she can't watch Panda (of the Kung Fu variety), Turtles (TMNT), or Mermaid (Little Mermaid). Point being, it's tough to find time to blog. It happens in between naps or after she has gone to sleep but I somehow manage to not have fallen asleep with her (like now for example).

Megan turned 3 on Thursday of last week, and we had a small birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The highlight of the week was when she went from saying "Happy day" to "Happy birthday!" to "Happy Birthday Megan!" It was a very exciting time for us. Her birthday party was great, and she was excited to see everyone and get all the presents. Thank you everyone for all the wonderful gifts!!









Tonight we had pre-school "conferences". They were... interesting I guess. It's hard to put into words, but it felt like the teachers were way too nice and just trying too hard not to offend. I think the best way to describe it is that Andrea and I are not on the same page with the ECFE folks regarding where Megan is at and where we think Megan can, could, and will be at in the coming months. In other words, it just made it clear to me what Andrea has known for quite awhile - we are Megan's best bet, her best teachers, and her best chance at being fully caught up in the next year (which we both feel is a totally possible goal).

In other news, I'm back into my normal running routine with no pains or residual effects of my recent injury, so I've been happy about that. Now I have to decide how I'm going to get through this winter: Indoor or Outdoor? Weight training or no weight training? It's tough to give up the time running, so at this point if I can't decide anything soon I'll probably just default to standard indoor running all winter.

Dance-A-Palooza

I've already been on the computer too long, updating my running information. I haven't had time to post, but last Saturday I suffered a pretty bad injury. While doing a longer weekend run, I got what I assume is a typical overuse muscle strain in my inner upper thigh. If I had to guess, it's a sartorius strain. After 2 days rest, I've done 2 more light runs with no pain, but I can tell pushing much past 5-6 miles would aggravate it. For now, I'll keep up light runs and see how it goes. Maybe this winter will finally bring me to weight lifting as an alternative.

Okay so enough about my lameness, let's get on to the real purpose of this post. The other night, Megan did the most adorable series of dances for us, that I was able to capture all on tape. For your viewing pleasure, I present, Megan's Dance-A-Palooza!!

First, we start of dancing with the pudding...



And we move on to some solo dancing...



More moves, wait, we need a dancing partner?



Get down with those panda moves!



And now to thank the wonderful dancing partner.