Minor Mistakes

Survived the short week. It wasn't so bad, although I did end up working from home a few hours each night, for a total of something like 38 hours in 4 days. I still stick by what I said before. I've decided I'm going to put my ideas out there, and make an honest effort to push something, anything, that might be considered an innovating idea. It's one of those situations where, what's the worse that could happen? Everyone laughs and says no, go back to your cube and fall in line like the good drone you are. And then I'll still have the last laugh, when it all comes to an end and I get to yell, "Told you so!". Oops!

In other news, I had been mentally prepping all week for a 25k (15.5 mile) race this Saturday, only to come to the realization that... It isn't this Saturday. It's 3 weekends from now, and isn't even ON a Saturday. Boy do I feel stupid. The funny part is that Saturday is my sister-in-laws baby shower, and I was sort of in the dog house all this month due to having scheduled a race on the same day. Everyone is happy now to find out I was wrong, but now I'm out a free excuse to get a long run in. Oops!

Tonight I picked up Megan from daycare, and mentioned to the teacher how I thought today was her last day. I thought our plan was to do it only for August. I even said as much, in a previous post, where I said "We will probably only do it for this month...". Turns out we are going through the month of Sept. So Megan was giving hugs out to her teacher and classmates like she'd never see them again. Yeah, I'll feel sorta silly when I pick her up next Tuesday. Oops!

Still, nothing made my day like what happened tonight. Megan, Andrea and I were reading/talking about the prayer that they say at school before meals and snacks. It's a simple 4 line prayer that Megan has mostly memorized, and it ends with "Thank you, God, for everything!". Interesting I thought, but no big deal. Then Andrea asks , "Megan, do you know God is?"

Megan: "I'm God!"

Priceless, I just about spit the pudding I was eating all over the place I laughed so hard. Funniest thing that happened all week!

Is it over yet?

Horribly long week. Right now, all the girls in the house, even Andrea are all taking an afternoon nap. I just got finished with a 5 mile bike ride / 5 mile run combo. Have a few minutes to myself, so figured it was about that time.

Why was this week so long you ask? Work mostly. This may sound arrogant, but I'm no dummy. I don't go through my day blissfully unaware of my surroundings. I pride myself on my attention to detail. This means that when push comes to shove, I know what needs to be done and I know what has to change in order for things to work. And I do that, ignoring consequences, ignoring what others might think, I get things done.

There is a flip side to being so in tune with what is going on around you. It means I'm also typically aware of impending shit storms. It seems so painfully obvious to me why things are going south at work, and also what it would really take to fix them. Sadly, it's also clear that nothing is ever going to change. The machine must roll on. Innovation is a dirty word. The idea of rewriting 10 year old software from the ground up in order to stay competitive, just isn't viewed as a sound investment. I'm gonna go ahead and say "bad idea" and in a few years, I'll look back and say "Told you so." The hard part will be convincing myself to stick with my long term plan, when I know things are just going to get worse before they get better.

On a totally different subject, my brother of all people, finally motivated me to do something I've been thinking I should do for quite some time. Ever since I removed the TV from my house, I've been wondering what the hell I'm going to do with my massive 230+ DVD collection. Well, I've decided. I'm selling the whole lot, minus a select few. Interested in buying a few movies? Here's the full list:

200+ DVD movies, most $2-$4

The funny part about putting this list of movies together, was the discovery that I actually had two completely unopened movies. I never even realized that. A friend of mine at work already has an order going, he said he was going to buy 20-30. I told him he could have first dibs, and the same would go for anyone else. (i.e. first come, first serve). And the special deal for family/friends is $1 dollar off every 2 movies you buy. Interested? Drop me an email or phone call.

Even my Dreams have Dreams

Last night I offered to do the overnight feedings. It was in part, my attempt to make up for a mix up earlier in the weekend where I got a little angry around 5am when I shouldn't have. And also to try and let Andrea get a good nights sleep, as she would have Megan home with her for the first time in two weeks.

The funny thing is, when my brain wakes up every 2 hours, I have the most insane dreams, because I am basically being woke up during REM periods. From what I remember, REM dreams are often much more intense, emotionally charged, and vivid then NREM (Non-REM).

In short, REM dreams come from a totally different part of the brain then NREM dreams: the limbic system. The limbic system is also referred to as the "center of emotions". As a result, REM dreams have certain characteristics that set them apart. In the past, I've had dreams of such emotional intensity that I will actually wake myself up crying.

Last night was no exception. The dreams I had were intensely emotional and to be honest, nothing that I could share with anyone except maybe a shrink. And since I'll never have one of those... Anyway, the crazy part was at one point in my dream, I "woke up" and thought, oh man, I have to write this stuff down, I could make a movie out of this (I used to keep a dream journal to assist in dream recall). So I'm going through the "dream" I just had in my head, trying to write down the strongest emotional details, which were quickly fading as dreams often do upon waking. Only then I realized, I was still dreaming. At that point things went from intense, to insane, as I slipped right back into the dream I was previously having, only now, I was fully lucid. (I know, try stay with me... but visit the Wiki links to understand the depths of my dreaming rabbit hole)

By morning, I had gone through such a roller coaster that I was in a weird place. The rational part of my brain tried to remind me that dreams are just super charged emotions played out in picture form. Your brain picks an emotion, juices it up, then picks a memory of something that you associate with that emotion. The two together combine in a way that cause people look for "meaning" in their dreams, where there is none to be found.

But on the other hand... for the first time in a long time, I started to wonder. How many emotions have I suppressed, repressed, or otherwise bottled up? Is it going to bite me in the end, or will be in control over the long haul? Strong emotions do strange things.

Did I mention that dreams fascinate me? Also, in case you didn't already know, Stephen Laberge is one of my hereos.

20 mile run that never was

This morning was interesting. Between Casey keeping me awake from midnight to 2am, and Megan coming up to our bedroom at 4:30am, when my alarm started going off at 5:20am, I actually stopped for a second to ask, "Why am I doing this again?"

Wait, let me go back. I haven't posted all this week because we had a semi emergency with Casey. On Wed night, she developed a really bad fever, 100.3 and above. Andi scheduled an appt. for the next afternoon, but ended up taking her to urgent care the next morning instead. Fever was up above 102, and it wasn't the standard ear infection. So they had to do a battery of tests to rule out all the serious things. They found nothing, so they gave her a standard shot of catch all antibiotics. She is doing better today, but her mood and night times are definitely not back to normal yet.

The second half of this week has been a bit rough, but we've survived. Meanwhile, I made plans to go out this morning and do new distance record: 20 miles. We got started by 6am and it was clear the humidity was going to be a factor, but overall, it was an enjoyable run. We did mostly 9:00s for the entire morning, which for me is a comfortable pace. The last 5 weeks, my long weekend runs in the 11-16 mile range have all been around 8:00-8:15 pace. The difference between 8s and 9s is significant. But even so, with the humidity this morning, 9s were plenty hard.

The funny part of the run, is that I paused my run at one water stop, only to forget to start it up again. The end result? My watch didn't even get to record my 20 mile run!! Check out this map:



Unless I suddenly sprouted wings or gained the ability to walk on water, I'm pretty sure I couldn't do that little straight line directly over the lake. That is where I paused and then restarted later. Oops... Oh well, just means I have to do it again sometime I guess!

Total distance: 20.43 miles (I think), total time: 3:07:44

Posting with a Purpose

One of the biggest roadblocks in posting on a more regular basis (aside from the time factor) is that often times I have nothing interesting to say, mention, or report on. What then, is the point? Let's be honest, I live a pretty routine life. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact, I like routine.

If I wanted, I could blab on and on about work. The politics, the stupid games people play, and even my own dumb approaches to things. Even I find myself being quick to judge someone harshly or place blame incorrectly for why something might be broken, or why we so often find ourselves in situations where shit isn't done when it's supposed to be. Then I sit back and see, I'm just as much a part of the stupid game as everyone else. That realization itself frustrates the shit out of me. I want to be better. I want to make a difference. I want to have an idea that makes everyone go "oh shit, we need to pay that guy more." Is that wrong?

Yes, I'm somewhat coming full circle again. Not so much because I hate my job, or because I dislike what I do. No, not this time. I actually do enjoy, on some level, what I do. More importantly, there are a few fun people that I work with, and that's a huge plus. This time, it's more about the fact that I do wish I could have a million dollar idea (that isn't a lottery ticket) Hell, I'd settle for a $100k idea. Just to be able to say, hey, I had this idea, and it was worth something. The closest I've ever come, was my first job. Long story short, I came up with an idea that changed a part of the manufacturing process (via software I wrote), that resulted in less wasted product. At the time, I saw it as fixing a minor area where we were in essence, "throwing away good parts". Turns out, after one of the equipment engineers ran the numbers, I ended up creating a savings of around $30k every two weeks. I think my entire 5+ year career there was paid for in a few months with that idea. Too bad I couldn't just pocket that instead.

I don't know where I was going with this post, and so maybe it's best to just end on a random note. When I sat down to post tonight, I started with a totally different blog title and a totally different purpose. But now it's past 10pm, and I want to start running again in 7 hours, so I had better get some sleep. Maybe I'll post my thoughts on "moral flexibility" tomorrow...

You're Mom Dude!

Megan's latest catch phrase is quite amusing (blog title). Not quite sure why she put it together, but it makes me laugh. This weekend ended up being crazy full of everything. I'll sum up:

Friday night: Neighbors over for some of my apparently awesome homemade pizza.
Saturday: In-laws visit at noon, with Megan's two cousins. Andrea and I snuck away to see G.I. Joe (and it rocked).
Sunday: Drive down to Rochester to visit an old college roommate in town for a week, who also just had his first daughter 2 weeks before Casey was born. Drive all the way home to Grandma Gayle's house to celebrate her birthday with pizza and ice cream cake!

I even snuck in two runs, Friday night before company (on the mill) and Sunday morning. It was a tad humid this morning, but I got a solid 13.5 miles in. Next weekend might be the new distance record, more on that later. Just wanted to get some pics up from the weekend. And yes, my camera is dying slowly so some of these pictures suck hard.

The visitors on Saturday:


Just the family:


Casey checking out her uncle sporting a new beard:


Megan playing too:

Second thoughts

As I picked up Megan for the second time tonight, they handed me a slew of art projects she did today. This was one of them:



Ahhh, wait a second, what's that say?



Not quite sure what to think about that. Starting to wonder if we are getting our money's worth...

New Month

Had one of those, "Oh, it's August?" moments this weekend. Sorta snuck up on me. Casey is 10 weeks old today and so far, has got into a semi normal routine. She is usually sleeping by 8pm, with two over night feedings. One around 2-3am, and a second before dawn, at 5-6am. I think her daytime routine still varies a bit.

The weekend was fun, a mix of relaxing and busy. Saturday was just chilling for the most part, about all I did was an early morning bike ride with my neighbor. Sunday was go go go, as I did a 16 miler in the morning. A zoo visit with Megan after that. And then an afternoon date day with Andrea, as we saw the movie Funny People and did a real fast early dinner at Red Lobster.

This month also marks the start of something else new for us. We've signed Megan up for a week long school program. As Fancy Nancy would say, "full time school" is a fancy way of saying "daycare". Today was her first day, and she seemed to handle it just fine. We went with a brand new Primrose School location that just got built this summer. It's right on the way to-from work, and only a few miles from home. Having just been built, everything in it is brand spanking new, giving it even more of that "cool for the kids" factor. They even have computers in the preschool rooms. We will probably only do it for this month, for a few reasons. The main thing is that she will start up some other programs and ECFE classes again in the fall.

I uploaded 72 pictures from my camera today. The majority of that is because Megan now knows how to operate the camera. She will often run around with it when I don't realize it and just take random pictures all day. Or videos of me playing video games. Anyway, thought I'd get a few new ones up, as I haven't posted any pics in awhile.

Mid week crisis

Here we are, 9pm on Wed and I think about my desire to break the once-a-week blog habit. Then I realize, if I want to blog more (change), I have to do something about it. After all, blogs don't write themselves. Change doesn't just come by itself.

Today my brother made an observation of me. He said that I "value willpower". I had never thought of it that way, but it made a lot of sense when he said it. Not that I've always valued willpower, but I think recently, in the last few years, I have come to. As as a direct result, I admire people that I perceive as having willpower. That might mean any number of things, from someone in a work situation that goes against the grain because they know it is right, even if they might cause waves. To someone who has recovered from addiction. To someone that doesn't swear or watch R-rated movies simply on principle.

Studies have shown all sorts of interesting things about willpower, the one I read about most often, being that willpower is "like a muscle". (see How to Boost Your Willpower) The more you use it, the stronger it gets.

Pushing your heart rate at 180-190 bpm for 42 minutes requires an insane amount of willpower. Either that or just an insane amount of insanity. Either way, running is the way that I give my willpower a boost as well. Forcing myself up at 5am when I'm already running on empty and tired... again, just flexing those willpower muscles.

So why is it, I can't stop myself from eating chocolates from a co-workers "help yourself" stash. Or why do I find myself drinking that third cup of coffee when I really don't need that much caffeine. Or why do I eat all the remainder of the frozen pizza that Andrea and Megan don't eat, when the 3 pieces I had were already enough.

I'll tell you why. Because there is limit to willpower. The studies have shown that too. And each day as I exhaust my supply of willpower on so many other big things, and maintain my levels of self control with so much else, that little mini Hersey's bar doesn't seem all that bad.

10k race of awesome

This once a week post shit is getting old. Finding it hard to come up with any time or anything to post about. I suppose that happens when my entire life right now is only about my family and work. And since I can't post about either of those things... Well, at least I have my running.

Over time, running has become my primary, if not only, form of stress relief. I still find some solace in video games, but by and large, running is the better of the two in terms of the ratio of hours spent to amount of stress relieved. Another interesting fact is that the amount of running I do and the extent to which I push myself harder is usually directly proportional to the amount of stress I'm currently under.

I had a 10k race today. To say I've had a lot of stress recently would be quite the understatement. So this morning I set out with a goal to run pretty damn hard. Leave mine, and everyone elses stress out there on the road. And I did. Here is a mile by mile recount:

Mile 1: Started 3 rows back from the start. People didn't stop passing me until mile 1 was over, and I was doing a 6:30 - 6:40 pace.

Mile 2: At 1.77, I passed someone, the first of maybe 4 or 5 total. No more people passing me. Still feeling pretty good. Race is early, starting to doubt I can keep this pace up. Heart rate is already pushing "hard" zones.

Mile 3: Little harder now, wind picked up on the far side of the lake. Had to push to keep my pace up. Keeping pace with 120 lbs, 5'4" woman wearing TCRC (Twin Cities Running Club) shirt.

Mile 4: The "not quite done, but damn I need to quit" mile. Mile 4 is always the hardest on my 10k fast races. I came damn close to slowing down multiple times. Pushed through each time. Finished 1 second faster than mile 3. Passed woman wearing TCRC shirt.

Mile 5: Wind at my back again, that helped alot. Heartrate now in the "danger" zone, staying at basically maximum heart levels (220 - age = maximum HR). But no way I'm slowing now, not after coming this far.

Mile 6: The home stretch. Time to book it now. Nearest person in front or behind me, well over 100 feet. With no one around me, I already knew the announcer would say my name. That old bearded guy that announces every race. Wonder what his name is?

Finished way better than I had hoped or set out to. 42:32, average pace of 6:46. My GPS watch said I traveled a total distance of 6.29. Enjoyed a banana, bottle of water, then ran another 5 miles. Couldn't help myself, it was just too nice out.

Enough about Casey, all about me!

What my blog is actually for! Problem is, not much about me I want to talk about these days (and I'm not the only one). Family life is getting far too personal to go on and on about, and of course, the proverbial blog taboo topic of work. My social life has dropped to zero (by choice of course). So what else is there? Not much... I suppose I can always fall back to random incoherent philosophical psycho babble.

I feel like I am at an interesting point in my life. Not the typical crossroads, because there are no choices per say. But a specific point none the less. I don't exactly want to label it "the beginning of the end" because that is much too harsh, but it slightly encompasses the over arching thought.

Hmmm arching... Maybe the better analogy is that I feel like I am rising over the crest of a roller coaster. Everything up until now has just lead me to the top, and now it's time to start the fast and furious down hill. And it's a crazy, scary, fun, exciting time. But before you know it, the ride is over. There are parts of me that wonder if I'm going to spend the next 20 years on a crazy roller coaster of emotions, trying to figure out how to be a better parent, only to look around and go, oh, ummm, so... that was quick.

20 years SOUNDS like a long time, but is it really? Next month, Andrea and I will have been married for 10 years. It sure as heck doesn't feel like 10 years. (is that a good or bad thing?) So 20 years doesn't seem all that long. Here is a random list of things I'd predict over the next 20 years:

1. I'll have at least 2 or 3 different jobs
2. I'll have to buy at least 2 new cars
3. We'll probably move at least once, maybe twice
4. Hopefully we have at least 2 big family vacations
5. There will probably be too many funerals
6. I won't be able to retire (and I won't win the lottery)
7. I'll have played at least one, or will be playing, an MMORPG
8. I won't be able to run as much, if at all
9. I'll have a TV back in my house
10. I won't be blogging anymore

Interesting list. Is it overly negative, or is it too much truth to swallow all at once? Somewhere, mixed in with all that stuff, is the fact that I'm going to get to watch my girls grow up. And maybe I get lucky, and they turn out okay. Let's hope the odds on that happening are better than the lottery.

All About Casey

I realized I've been sort of light on the news/pictures about Casey, so I thought I'd take some time today and get a bunch of stuff just about her up. Some pictures to start, with the grand prize at the bottom.



Let's see, today she is 6 weeks 5 days old. She is getting bigger every day, but once again it is so hard to tell when you see her every day! Some other milestones she has done: rolled over from her stomach to her back, she smiles in response, and visually follows Mom around the room.



As far as her temperament goes, she is not ever SUPER grumpy. She has her moments here and there, or when my brother babysits. :-) But for the most part, she is easy going. She sleeps very well, and over night is only getting up one time. She usually is asleep by 9 or 10, wakes up once at 3am, and then again at 6 or 7am.



Another aspect of Casey, that Andrea might get upset I start blabbing on about, is that she breastfeeds well. We haven't had to use hardly any formula since she has been home (a handful of ready-to-eat bottles). And the ironic thing is, Andrea stocked up on oh, I don't know, 3-4 month supply of free formula samples. She just collected them through various means, and now we haven't touched a single one. Granted the year is early, and we might start using them more past the 6 month mark. But for now, Casey is doing completely well with just Mommy goodness.



The hardest part about Casey, is just that she needs that basic attention as well (of course). And Andrea gets torn trying to divide her time during the day between the girls. At some point, they both demand her attention and something has to give. It's a hard situation. Andrea might get mad I'm posting these thoughts, but there you go. I see Mom's out in public with 3, 4, or even more kids, and I have absolutely no clue how they do it. We have hard enough time as it is trying to keep Megan near us in parking lots or not running away from us in the grocery store. I'll stick to the challenges of my two girls, I have a feeling it will be more than enough.

And finally, a few videos. I've embedded the better one, and there is a link to another one at the bottom.



Casey & Megan

Running Update... part 2?

Translation: I don't feel like blabbing on about other stuff going on right now, because it's too private and I refuse to whine about it. If you want to know my thoughts about the difficulties of Casey + Megan, you'll have to ask me in person. I've always believed, even when it was just Megan, that Andrea had the tougher job of the two of us. So what does that mean now? Her job just got twice as hard and mine is still the same stupid day job. Not fair if you ask me.

Instead of another 6am run on Friday, I was able to do a noon run. It felt much better, even if it was a little warmer. I did another 9 miles at a slightly faster pace. I'm not sure how many more races I'll do this year, so far I've signed up for another 10k and a 25k. I'd like to do the TC 10 Miler, but it's by lottery. (that reminds me, I have to go sign up right now!!)

Sunday morning I wanted to do a longer run, I'm gearing up for a long distance goal this year. I'm thinking about trying to do 20 miles at the end of the summer with a friend. I could probably do it right now, but it's hard to find 3 solid hours for something like that.

So I wanted to mix it up for Sunday, so I mapped out a completely new 16 mile route. It was so different, I even had to bring street directions along in my pocket. The first part of my run had me going through an area of expensive lake front homes. Probably in the half mil to 2 mil range. Was interesting going through there. Other then that, the rest of the run was pretty straight forward. I think I'll do a couple more of these this month, and shoot for the 20 miler sometime mid to late August.

Running Update

You may have noticed the return of my running log side bar. Recently I learned that the web site that hosts free exersize logs, Buckeyeoutdoors.com now has a new feature. It plugs directly into the software I already use to track my running with my watch. With a button click, I can upload my runs from my watch. Slick.

Before going back to work, I had 2 weeks of long runs thanks to the summer camp/morning day care we sent Megan to. Now that I'm going back to work, things have been tougher. My evening runs until 6pm are not that feasible right now, because I am needed at home after work. So I've been running at very odd times, 5:45am, 6am, 10:45pm, etc. Basically when everyone else is sleeping.

This morning I finally managed to wake up extra early (5am) so that I could get ready and get a 9.4 mile run in before 7am. Running 9 miles before 7am is not that easy. As soon as I started out, it's like my entire body laughed at me, saying "Heh, funny joke." Once it realized it was no joke, it basically starts to plead and beg for me to stop. Go lay down, sit down, do anything but this. You're tired, not fully hydrated, and you're muscles have so little blood flow that every step makes you feel stiff and sore. Eventually, somewhere around mile 3 things finally started to loosen up. The cool weather helped things too.

Looking forward to my run tomorrow. 6am, should be 60 and sunny!

First Week Back

Casey turns 1 month old today as I wrap up my first week back at work. Things at work are relatively the exact same as when I left, the only difference is I'm "out of the loop" on most things. It's nice in a way, less stressful for the time being. I'm sure eventually when REAL work actually needs to get done, I'll find myself right back in the thick of it.

On the home front, things appear to be going okay. I say appear, only because honestly Andrea and I haven't had a lot of time to talk about how things are going. As I suspected, most of my time once I get home is spent helping out with "survival mode" things (see previous post). We have a few things planned for this weekend that should help, including a 2 hour alone time on Saturday afternoon.

Last night I actually had the honor of putting BOTH kids to bed. That was the first time I had done that. It wasn't exactly perfect, but I got the job done. I.e. at the end of the night everyone was sleeping. Although the new routine for Megan is very important, I was just happy everyone got to sleep.

On the running front, I've managed to do early morning runs (5:45am) that include running and showering at work. So far so good, although I did forget my belt on Wed. That was sorta funny, no one really noticed. But I had to walk around all day holding my pants up basically. Running early is actually better considering how hot it has been this week, so I can't really complain.

Finally, here are a few pictures from Father's Day that I had wanted to get up. Andrea, Megan, and Casey made me this wonderful Father's Day T-shirt. (not to mention multiple cards I received!) I think Father's Day was better than my birthday. Somehow, I have a feeling that is a trend that might continue through the years.

Family Fun

Just when you think "Oh noes, Casey is cranky from 7-10pm each night" you are reminded that almost no day is the same with a new baby. What did Casey do tonight from 7-10pm? Eat once and sleep the rest of the time. Don't know what the rest of the night will bring, but so far, no fussy period tonight.

For our last Goonie weekend together, spur of the moment, I took Megan to the AV Aquatic Center. We had an absolute blast, it was supposed to be bad weather/raining today, but the sun and warm weather held out so we went and had a great time. They added a few new tube rides that we can't do because Megan is not 48 inches tall yet, but we did the new lazy river once and the one water slide we can do together a bunch of times. It was a great way to top of the last few weeks of fun before I head back to that crazy thing called reality.

Despite all the "activities" we've been doing together, sometimes the best family times are simply goofing around at home. I captured one such event and it turned out great. You just can't help but dance to that song, it's so dang catchy.



Watch around the 30 second mark, Megan does this thing with her bracelet where she snaps it on. She calls it her "magic trick". Good times had by all!

Reality Calls

My time off work is nearing the end, and my thoughts start moving towards the routine to follow. There are the basic immediate concerns. How will the first week back go? What can I do help Andrea stay rested? Do we have enough help built into our next few weeks via preschool and other programs? What will the over nights be like? How will my runs fit into the whole picture?

The list might go on from there... I just want to make sure that the long list of immediate day-to-day "survival mode" things don't detract from the long term picture. And when I say long term picture, I'm not talking about just the kids. But Andrea and I as well. One thing you can lose sight of EASY when becoming parents, is to remember - you're not JUST parents. Although we might love our roles as Mom and Dad (despite the hard work right now), we are still Shawn and Andrea. And yes, for some odd reason, we are still madly in love. So what do we want for each other in the next 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? I can rattle off hundreds of answers to those questions for Megan and Casey, but what about us too?

It may be premature to be thinking about those things now. Tonight I had to care for both Casey and Megan for a measly 2 hours, and it nearly broke me. Luckily, I called my Mom over who did an AWESOME job with Megan. She totally saved my ass, because Casey embraces the "witching hour" and was quite grumpy/fussy/hungry tonight. Honestly, I've been so focused on Megan's new bedtime routine, that I haven't realized how rough Casey is from 7-10pm.

Hopefully it stays that way, and is only bad like that from the 7-10pm time frame. I should be home for that time period to help out, and if things work out as planned, Andrea and I can take turns during that period, with the other parent doing the bedtime routine (or game, as we call it) with Megan. Ahhh surviving the first 3 months, how the memories come flooding back.

The number on Rolling Rock beer labels

That's how old I am now. I always like to get a post up on or around my birthday, just wasn't able to find the time yesterday on my actual birthday. Andrea would argue that I "forgot" my birthday, based on the following interaction:

Me: Wakes up, heads down to the computer
Me: Sits down, checks google maps for possible runs
Andrea: Sitting next to me, looks over and says "Happy Birthday!"
Me: "Oh crap, that's right."

I didn't actually "forget" my birthday, it just wasn't the first thing on my mind that morning. I had to get Megan ready to goto summer camp and was trying to figure out where I could run that wasn't pure hills. Hills are not nice to shins and/or muscles in general, and I wanted to try and do a longer run.

I ended up doing 15.8 miles, which is the longest distance for this year. Today I feel good, minor tightness in a few areas. I'm thinking I might push the long distances this summer and go for a new distance record this year. Depends on if my legs can really hold up to that kind of mileage.

The rest of my birthday was just an average day. We killed a bunch of time over at my Mom's house watching movies. My Mom is out of town, so we had 2 TVs at our disposal. Megan watched Bolt and took a nap downstairs while we watched The Spirit (sorta sucked) and Wanted. It was a nice break in parenting to be completely honest, to just relax for a few hours.

We are still trying to get this whole 2-parent 2-child thing worked out. Andrea wants more time with Megan, and definitely needs some solo time with Megan to stay connected with her. But it's hard when Casey demands so much. Right now they are running to Target together to buy a few grocery items. Not exactly the best 1-1 time. Hopefully there will be a couple more chances this weekend and next week.

Oddly, I've used this paternity leave to become much closer to Megan. I feel like she is honestly listening to me now, and we are having MUCH fewer conflicts. I even bought a few parenting books for some ideas (a first for me!). Mostly they ended up being mirrors of my own "gut instincts" with maybe a little extra advice. The important thing is that even in this short 3 week span, I feel like there is a big change in our interactions. Some times things still get into "crisis" mode, but there is much less of it. Hitting is WAY down, and Megan is very proud of that fact. Throwing things is happening less, or when it does happen, she is usually quick to pick it back up and hand it. Next thing I'm working on is staying by Mom/Dad when we are out places.

If I could summarize these last 3 weeks it would be this: I think I've become a better parent in the last 3 weeks than in the last year. I've been able to identify my problem areas and my weaknesses in my interactions with Megan and turn them around into positive things.

Crazy what happens when you actually have a decent chunk of time to evaluate, work on, and think about a problem. I wasn't exactly ignoring it before, I just didn't interact with Megan enough to realize how bad I really was at interacting with her. I think this shift in focus was exactly what I needed for my birthday.

Time Flies and Crawls

The last week has been both fast and slow at the same time. I thought I'd have more time to blog, but the combination of everything has kept me pretty dang busy. Megan and I try do some activities every day - it's definitely harder when it's raining out! Megan is also going to a summer camp this week and next, 9am-12noon Mon/Wed/Fri. Really it's just a fancy name for daycare, and I'm using the time to get some runs in which is great. I had a minor injury on Monday, but it was healed up by today and I was out again.

Casey is doing great... Again, I have to stress how nice things seem this time around. I feel like I'm doing so little - spending most of my time with Megan (or with myself on my runs). Meantime, Andrea is handling 90% of the care for Casey. The breastfeeding is going way better this time around. Well, better from the stand point, that Casey breastfeeds very well, but it's also a little tougher for Andrea because she is having to feed every 2-3 hours, or every hour during "cluster" feedings.

I think Andrea is a little jealous of all my Megan time / events, and hopefully we can find some way to schedule a date night for just the two of us before I head back to work. In the meantime, I'm going to just enjoy this time I have with Megan and try to do as much for Andrea as I can so she doesn't feel overwhelmed either. Tomorrow, Megan and I are going to head to Edinborough Park, which Megan has not visited since over a year ago. She is much bigger now and I will probably let her climb around totally on her own this year and see how she does.

Oh, and for total randomness, I've uploaded the following video from a recent Andrea and Megan duet. Wait for the ending... and watch the expression on Megan's face.

Eerie Resemblance

Going through photos of Casey quickly had me looking back at baby pictures of Megan. I had done a few glances back already to note that Megan also had the dark head of hair initially that turned into her dark blonde color. Looking back again I started to see even more similarities. So I had to put together a couple side by sides:





Fun and scary at the same time! They definitely have a lot of similar features. It will be interesting to do another comparison at 6 months and a year. I have this feeling that Megan and Casey will be the kind of siblings that you meet and go, "Oh they must be sisters." But who knows? Maybe Megan will dye her hair Pinkalicious.

So what else have we learned in our first week of being new parents again? I think the easiest way to describe it would be this: although the basics come easy, there are a host of NEW challenges we find ourselves facing. Megan was a challenge in and of herself some days. Andrea tells me I'm getting a skewed perspective, but be that as it may, it is the reality now. Megan has to "adjust" to her new sibling. It's clear that Casey causes all sorts of new emotions for her, from loving, caring, to jealousy too. She has no way to "communicate" those feelings and so they come out in the only ways a 3 and half year old knows how. (most not very positive) Our trick as parents are to remain calm, connected to her needs, and make sure she knows we both love her the same as before. Not an easy task, but I think we are up to it!

What Day Is It?

I forgot how quickly you get disoriented from the rest of the world when you stop going to work. Not that I mind, Megan has no concept of weekends, why should I!? This first week has been going great. Megan is handling the change very well, although I honestly don't have a lot of things to compare against. Her general attitude is happy to see Casey, concerned for her well being, and loves to hold and touch her. In car rides, if Casey cries, Megan is the first to say "It's okay Casey!" I think the hardest part will be getting Megan to understand why she can't be physical with Casey at first.

I've managed to get two runs in this week, which has been great. Sleep wise, I seem to be okay, and Casey seems to sleep very well so far. Maybe too well, as Andrea has started to wake her for feedings instead of waiting for Casey. This will help Andrea as well as Casey regulate feeding patterns. But for the most part, we both feel "normal" in terms of rested, and that's a big change from our previous sleep deprivation and not leaving the house for 4 days.

Casey's post-birth time is overall much more relaxing and enjoyable, then stressful and tiresome. I've been kind of more hands off, both because my role right now is to manage Megan during the day, but also to let Andrea roll with the feedings. I know this sounds "lazy" on my part, but I do think I was a bit too intrusive with Megan. I realize now the importance of these early weeks for Andrea and Casey to find their "groove" with a routine.

We've also been getting meals all this week from the Apple Valley MOMS Club. That has been so great, so thank you so much everyone. Last night, in a rare occurrence, we even got to enjoy a quiet evening meal with just the two of us. Casey and Megan were both napping. A small calm in the excitement of this week, it was just awesome.

A few more pics for today:

Megan being her silly self.


Megan just loves to hold baby Casey.


As promised, a few pictures of Andrea as well.


More of the three gals.

Quick Pics

Casey and Andrea are napping for a bit (Megan is pretend napping), so sneaking a quick second to get these pictures up. I realize there are none of Andrea yet, that happened more by accident. Hopefully more pictures or more of my blabbing later in the week.

Casey, a few hours old.


Close up, no flash.


Our first visitors, Andrea's parents were watching Megan since Sunday.


Grandma B and Casey.


Just Megan being happy... if only that was how she ACTUALLY has behaved over the last 48 hours...


Me and my two daughters, isn't Megan photogenic?


Megan and Casey close up, no flash.


And finally, back home today...

The Adventure Redux

I'm running on borrowed time right now, having slept maybe 2 hours out of the last 36. My brain isn't firing on any cylinders for the most part. I should be in bed but I needed to unwind with some food. I forgot my camera at the hospital so I'll just keep this short:

Name: Casey Gayle Anderson
Born: May 25th 2009. 2:55pm
Weight: 9 lbs 1 oz (wow...)
Length: 21 inches (same as Megan!)

The short version: inducement still took a long time. Although overall shorter time span than Megan, in most ways (physically and emotionally), this delivery was tougher. They say that every birth is unique, and that I believe now. But the whole "second child is easier" is not always true.

In the end, everyone is doing great and baby and Mom are both in as good a shape as can be expected. By the time I left the hospital with Megan, Andrea was officially unhooked from all equipment and IVs. Hopefully she will manage to get some sleep over the next 12 hours, it felt pretty selfish coming home with Megan. We'll head back up tomorrow after Megan's preschool. More to follow!

First Hot Run

Tonight I did a normal run outside, 7.25 miles. I didn't bother to look at the temp before I left, because I didn't really care. With the last few cold / windy evenings, I've been wussing out and running inside more than I'd like. I ran at near normal pace, and didn't quite realize how hot my body was getting until I stopped once to tie my shoe and could just feel heat radiating from inside out. On the way home the radio weather guy said it was pushing 93 degrees. I figured it was mid 80s, didn't quite realize it was that hot. Oops! Lesson learned, first hot run of the summer out of the way, I'll have to be smarter in the coming days.

Everything with Casey is going as planned, which is to say, nothing new is happening. Andrea is still feeling good but with no signs of going into labor. The next Doctor visit is Friday afternoon. I will start my leave from work on Thursday and will go along for that visit. If everything is "looking normal" on Friday, we will most likely get an inducement scheduled for the following week.

So what will we do with our time between now and then? More movies! We already have babysitting lined up for Thursday afternoon, since Terminator actually comes out on a Thursday instead of Friday. WHOOT! Other than that, we don't have anything else planned but to relax and make sure Andrea doesn't have to go out in this heat much more this week. She spent a good hour with Megan outside today, and that was hard enough.

I might sign up for a half marathon for the end of the month, but a) it seems kind of selfish and b) the timing probably won't work. It's on May 30th, so if our inducement is scheduled for Thur or Friday that week, it probably wouldn't work to do a half marathon the next day. Yes, I'm a tad insane to even be considering it, but I wouldn't be me if I wasn't.

The Waiting Game

With the weekend behind us, and the "due date" over with, time to look to the next few days. As I suspected, the weekend was a pretty normal one for us. Saturday afternoon we even got another movie in, and saw Star Trek, which was awesome. I liked the cast they put together to play the various roles. I hope they make another movie with that group.

Saturday night Andrea even made it over to St. Paul for a going away party. Her old college roommate is moving to Las Vegas for awhile. Megan and I decided to have our own date, and we went to Red Robin together. She had a good time and afterwards we went to a park, where she made friends with a nice girl her age named Emma. Emma taught Megan how to climb all the way up the slides... I let it go this time cause they were having so much fun.

So tomorrow I will head in to work as normal, which is actually a good thing. Couple more loose ends I can tie up, and hand off a last few items. I'm definitely not very optimistic about where things are going at work, but none of that is within my control. We got one of those "oh shit the economy DOES suck" emails from the CEO recently. Sponsoring of corporate teams was among the various "cost cutting measures". That's right, no more free runs for me! Every time I make the mistake of reading a news paper or actually listening to the news, I'm damn glad I have a job, and I'm going to hold on to it until they drag me away kicking and screaming. I never thought one of the best side effects of not owning a TV would be how much easier it is to ignore hearing about all that shit that just pisses me off. Blinders for the win.

Casey: The Prequel

Since this year is all about the prequel movies, I figured why not have a little Casey prequel. As we lead into the last few days before official "due date", we find ourselves in pretty much the same situation as last time. The biggest difference is that Andrea is feeling much better. Much less stress, no worries about blood pressure, a picture of good health. So what next?

I know that we don't want to end up in the same boat as last time, spending 40 hours in the hospital hooked up to machines pumping drugs into Andrea that have no effects. Not that our experience was horrible last time, but we've learned what we do and don't want to happen. Andrea's next visit will be with her doctor, on Tuesday of next week (due date +2), and we will determine our options at that point. My guess is that nothing big will occur over the weekend. As a reminder, Megan's official "due date" was Sept 28th. We had our first attempt at induction 4 days later, and Megan was born on Oct 9th (due date +11). If we have the same thing happen this time, Casey won't be here until May 28th!

In the meantime, my World of Warcraft account is now expired as of last Saturday. It was a fun last hurrah these last 5 months, but time to put it away again. I'm giving serious thoughts to a new gaming PC sometime late this year or early next year, on the cusp of the Windows 7 release, which rumors are saying is being pushed for a "Christmas" type launch. This Alienware lasted well for 5 years, and although yes, older and a tad outdated, is still a nice PC. But it would be nice to have a new top end system for some newer gaming, including Starcraft 2, Diablo 3, and some of the new RPGs slated for the later half of this year.

And work is going swimmingly, and it would seem that rising above the crap is working out for me, as my bosses send "kudos" emails to each other about my recent "excellent efforts" and "stepping up" to get things done on time and without issues.

For those of you keeping score at home (and you know who you are), that is an example of how you can be a cog in a machine, but you can still choose to make a difference.

Quick note: I also wanted to say congrats to my former college roomie Adam & wife Pilar on the recent birth of thier first baby girl!!

Unbelievable Luck

What a crazy night. Crazy week really. On the verge of our pending arrival, trying to wrap things up at work, and keep my head above water. Tonight was all sorts of awesome. First, I'll start with my stuff, since, hey, its my blog! Tonight was the Twin Cities 1-miler, which I again ran this year in the hopes that it would give me a spot in the Twin Cities 10-miler. My time last year was 5:51. This year, I was shooting for 5:45. I came REAL close:



Still very happy about that, being able to beat last years time. And it definitely wasn't as painful, and I might have been able to go a bit harder. The real factor was the wind (sucked hard) and oddly, I think bad air. Everyone around me was coughing very hard at the finish line, and it down right hurt the lungs. I didn't have any of that last year. Maybe downtown isn't the best place to have an event like that?

Meanwhile, while I was running this silly (yes silly!) event, Andrea and Val (sister-in-law who is also expecting) were attending an new Mothers event that we got a random invite to. We honestly don't know how or why we got this invite, we only assumed it was through my work and/or insurance. Some type of work perk? Anyway, long story short, it was totally free, they had lots of things for new Moms to look at, get samples of, free appetizers and a non-alcoholic drink contest. (local bartenders trying to make the best tasting virgin drink) In addition to all that, they had lots of door prizes, a high end stroller, and a grand prize of a BRAND new crib.

So I walk in to the event just as things are wrapping up. What is the first thing I hear as I walk in? They are calling Andrea's name for a prize! No way! And so I go and sit down, and it turns out Val had also already won something! How awesome is that? But wait!

They then did the final drawing for the grand prize, and who should win? Andrea!! We couldn't believe it! Andrea was in such disbelief, she didn't even realize it was her number that was called. We are going to get a BRAND new crib from Becker Furniture! (minor drive up north, but way worth it!)

And a big thank you to my brother who made this all possible by baby sitting Megan tonight, YOU ROCK BRO!!

One of those days

I know I promised to stay positive around here, but I can't help myself. The last couple of days have felt like... Well, the best description is a quote from the movie Dogma. I'll let the picture speak for me.



Here's a fun truth: there is always going to be negative forces coming at you. Someone will always have a differing opinion. Someone will always think you are wrong. Someone will always try to make themselves feel more important/better/powerful than you. Why? Because by and large, people are typically motivated by protecting their own self interests.

Are there exceptions to that statement? Of course. There are tons of people that are nice, honest, and don't always think about themselves first. Am I one of those people? Meh, jury is still out on that one.

So when I have those days, like recent events this week at work, how should I react? Should I strike back and fight fire with fire? Should I "rise" above the shit and pretend like it doesn't bother me? Or do I honestly stop for a moment and look at it for what it is: fake negativity.

See, work is just work. Despite anything else that has changed for me over the years, I still view work as simply a means to an end. People are going to come to work, and do whatever they do, based on their own personal motivations. Maybe they sit and browse web sites in their cube, maybe they work hard, or maybe they just suck at their job. Whatever it might be, it doesn't really matter in the end. Because a job is just a job.

It's ironic to hear myself say those words out loud, when I once heard them said to me, by a supervisor I had come to hate, when I informed him why I was quitting my first job. There is probably some deeper meaning there, but I don't have time to contemplate it. Megan is upstairs alone, getting into trouble I'm sure.

The Race that Never Was

4 years ago, I ran my first ever "race" event, at the insistence of a good friend. I ran that Get in Gear in 53:28. It's interesting to go back and read that post and think about my mind set at the time. Also to read how hard it was, and to think about how far I've come with running.

As I've said before, I had set a goal for myself this year of breaking the 45 minute mark. I knew I could do it, because my very last run last year (half marathon) was virtually at that pace. And sure enough, I was able to achieve and blow away my goal. Here were my split times:

1 - 6:58
2 - 6:50
3 - 6:51
4 - 6:54
5 - 6:57
6 - 7:00
.2 - 2:04

Total time: 43:38, average pace: 6:54 min/mile. A few weird things about the run this year. For starters, I started right up front this year. Meaning, I could see the elite runner start, see the tape lines, and also see all the weirdness that happens up there. You have this small group of runners that wish they were elites, pushing foward, trying to sneak in. Meanwhile, officials are trying to keep them back. In the end, a bunch snuck through and just started at the same time. Weird?

The other crazy thing that happened was as I passed each mile marker. The person calling out the times as I passed each marker, yelled the following: "7:01!" , "14:02!", "21:03!"... I don't think there was anyone at mile 4, but then sure enough, at mile 5: "35:05!".

Needless to say, there is a sad thing about this entire event. I run the best 10k in my life, probably my first ever personal record that won't be an "easy" one to beat, and what happens? My official time is not posted on the web site. All results are in, and I'm not on them. What is that about? I signed up the day after the race opened. My bib number was 160, and I was wearing my damn chip. No official time. Is there a refund? I want my money back.

Where did April go?

Just a combination of factors making this month fly by, work being the biggest factor. For whatever reason, it's hardly bothering me that much. Maybe it's just the bigger thoughts about baby Casey arriving any day now that are keeping me occupied. We haven't done a whole lot of planning, but I guess we figure we know what to expect this time around, so we aren't worried. As long as Andrea gets her hospital bags ready to go and we have a solid plan for what to do with Megan, I think we will be fine.

I've been enjoying the weather, the outdoor running season has begun full swing. Been running some fast paces lately in preperation for the Get in Gear 10k this weekend. I'm hoping the good weather of this week holds out long enough to last through Saturday morning.

Megan has been doing awesome, enjoying school and all the other activities Andrea plans for her. She started swimming lessons a few weeks ago, which she has really enjoyed. She needs to work on putting her face under water, but follows other directions well.

Looking forward to the start of the summer movie season with X-men coming up soon. Here is the full list of movies I'm dying to see in 2009:

May 1st: X-Men Origins: Wolverine
May 8th: Star Trek
May 21st: Terminator Salvation
June 24th: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
July 15th: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Aug 7th: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

There are a few comedies this year I'd also like to see, but they end up lower on the priority list. The above list are the ones I will see for sure, no matter what, even if Casey is born that weekend! (the 3 in May) Although this list might not compare to 2007, The Year of the Movie, it's still good list.

Adventures in Viruses

For a long time, I've prided myself on my lack of ever getting a computer virus. Not that it's super common to get one, but I've never purchased anti virus software or gone out of my way to setup personal firewalls, etc. The most I've ever done is run Spybot, which apparently has been good enough. Until now.

I came home Thursday night and sat down to launch World of Warcraft only to be presented with a very strange error message. Couple googles later, and I was already in panic mode. Few more checks and it was clear I had a pretty bad virus. Task Manager disabled, registry editing disabled, and generally negative behavior on most applications.

I'm no hacker expert, nor am I that versed in manual combat of viruses. I tried a few things, eventually found ways to get into both my task manager and registry. Both were pretty fruitless efforts. This virus was very strong and keeping itself alive, and keeping me from doing anything that might even give me a chance. It completely destroyed the Safe Boot portion of the registry, so that wasn't even an option. (I tried a manual restore of the Safe Boot registry, and it worked... but the virus was resident even in Safe Boot)

I ended up buying Norton Antivirus, which I sort of wish I hadn't. It was a giant waste of time, (and money?) as this virus laughed at Norton. Eventually Norton was detecting it's own files as infected. It was quite clear I only had one option left: Reformat.

So, 48 hours and 2 reformats later, I'm finally back up and running. World of Warcraft is currently at about 50% installed. The experience was interesting, especially when I ended up in a Norton Antivirus chatroom with some random dude from India, who then proceeded to say they could fix all my virus problems for the low low fee of $99.99. Yeah, I passed on that.

After all was said and done, we really only lost ONE thing, and it's my fault for not backing it up. Andrea had been recording our spending habits for the past year and a half on this one excel file. In my haste of backing things up the first night, it was the one big thing I missed. Hopefully it won't dissuade her from keeping it going in the future, as I think it was very useful for us.

Blog titles are overrated

When I mentioned not having any cold symptoms, I had no idea that the next time I would be posting is after just starting to get over those symptoms. Basically the day after my last post I finally got sick. I don't know why I thought I might avoid it. I'll blame wishful thinking.

So last week was sort of tough. I'm not gonna whine about it, just state the facts. I had to put in over 50 hours of work, which was basically working until 9-10pm Tue-Thur. Nothing really more to say about it, other then, well, it was tough. Andrea and Megan were real troopers and both helped to make the hours I had to work from home bareable. Despite the fact that they were buying pizza and/or subs every night for people on-site, I never stuck around for that and worked the extra hours from home.

As if the added work hours weren't enough to keep me busy last week, I was also attempting to get ready for a Dungeons and Dragons session as well. Somehow I found some time to do that, although not a lot. The session was a lot of fun, but I'm getting a little worried that the system is too combat oriented. That isn't actually a bad thing if everyone enjoys that aspect of gaming, and for the most part it seems like everyone does. As long as I weave an interesting story around the combat sessions, people have a good time. So that's all that matters really.

Coming up this week are hopefully my first series of outdoor runs (aside from the silly 30 degree race in March). I have to prep for this years Get In Gear 10k. I have a serious goal of hitting the 45 minute mark, which I feel short of last year by 17 seconds. I know 17 seconds doesn't sound like a lot, but at that pace, it is huge. I'll keep everyone posted on that, and in the meantime, hope for some good weather on April 25th!

Didn't win the lottery... but!

Apparently there is an appliance virus going around our neighborhood. Last night our neighbors called us up to ask if they could cook a couple frozen pizzas in our oven, because theirs wasn't working. I said sure, if we could come over and dry a load of laundry! Never thought I'd be swapping appliance use.

The good news however, is that today the dryer repair guy came and was able to fix our dryer for free under the service plan we have! Almost as good as winning the lottery. But seriously, it's good to finally have all the appliances working again.

The weekend was pretty mellow like I thought it would be. The coolest thing was just a visit to the Zoo Megan and I did. We visited the Farm Babies, which honestly was just a visit to the Farm Animals. We did see one baby cow, but Megan was too busy playing on the tractor to notice. She did like the baby chicks, and said those were her favorite.

Megan and Andrea are still getting over some pretty bad colds they got after coming back from vacation. It's been a rough week during the nights with Megan. Her inability to breath causes her to wake herself up and subsequently, us. Last night was the worst, as she had such a bad coughing fit she ended up throwing up in her bed. Hopefully they are on the up swing, as of now I have no real symptoms. Will I dodge this bullet?

Astronomical Odds

I know I promised no more negativity, but I just have to share this one. The night before we left on vacation, our washer blew up. Water coming out the bottom and all over the place. I even faked my handy man skills to verify it wasn't anything "simple" like a busted or leaking hose.

Long story short we replaced the washer last week after we got back from vacation. I'm 90% sure that the appliances we have are the originals that came when the house was built in 93, which would put the washer around 16 years old. That's actually typical life for a cheap washer. But then what happens? 2 days later, our dryer dies as well. The inside part stopped rotating.

What are the odds that both appliances just decide to break within a few days of each other? I don't know the exact percentages, but it has to be pretty small. Needless to say, I bought a couple lottery tickets today.

We do actually have some coverage on our dryer, so we will have someone come look at it on Monday (for free) and see if it is "fixable" for cheap. If it isn't (which I suspect it won't be) we already have another purchase lined up. Just lots more motivation to live here for a bunch more years, which became our plan sometime earlier this year anyway.

One funny thing about this whole thing was when I was cleaning the area under the washer before the new one arrived. I'm sweeping it up and I notice an item of clothing behind the dryer. I figured it was just something that had fallen back behind there, so I sweep it out only to discover it was a pair of women's underwear that definitely did not belong to Andrea. How long had that been there? Too funny.

Pictures from Wi Dells

Considering we didn't really do much this weekend, Sunday ended up having enough distractions that I didn't get a chance to go through pictures. Finally got around to it this evening.

Since our weekend was mostly about Grandma and Megan, figured I'd start with a post of the two of them.



Megan checking out the cow with 6 legs. This was at Ripley's Believe it Or Not attraction. I've been at one before so I sort of knew what I was getting into.



Another picture from Ripley's.



After Ripley's we went to this very cheesy... I don't even know what to call it. It wasn't a fun house, it wasn't a scary house... Just a weird collection of things with a very weird tour guide. My brother and I tried to make the best of it.



The third day, Megan and I spent a lot of time at the dry park. (sadly, no pictures of the pool areas turned out due to humidity). We had a great time climbing around and going down all the slides.



More climbing action.



Enjoying a cold drink after an morning of climbing.



Random shots while walking around the hotel. We bumped into the hotel mascot.



And a nice fireplace... random, yes. Good picture, yes.



Last night at the hotel, Megan reading a book with Grandma.



The interesting aspect of this last picture is what happened yesterday. Megan is skilled enough to know how to turn on my digital camera and look through pictures on it (when in view mode) or take pictures with it (when in camera mode). Yesterday, she scrolled through the pictures and saw the above picture. She says, "Grandma and me reading Puff Puff, Toot Toot." It was interesting to me that Megan remembered the exact book she was reading with Grandma a full 5 days earlier from the picture of the event. Or did she recogonize the book and just state what she was seeing? It could be either or... Interesting!

Back to the Basics

Here we are, 2 1/2 weeks since my last post. It was by choice, no complaining this time. In this world of Twitter, Facebook, MySpace and all the rest, blogging will soon be just another lost art form. Nothing lasts forever.

Blogging can be as easy or as difficult as I feel like making it. Like a lot of things, it's just how you approach it. Sometimes I just need a new approach to see things for what they are. My blog is like that... It's been a place for me to share different things at different times. What I share and how much I share always seems to change over time.

So here we go, back to the basics of what this blog started as. A place to share interesting tid bits about my life that others might be interested in. I can't promise things won't change, but at least for awhile, I can promise a few things. No more bullshit posts, no more negativity, no more ramblings about things that piss me off.

I thought I'd start off with the big news of the last 2 weeks. We finally came to decide on a name for the new baby! That name is Casey Gayle Anderson. Interesting how it all worked out really, but aren't names always like that? We talked briefly about spelling variations, but Andrea likes the traditional the best.

The other big stuff recently was our family spring break vacation to Wisconsin Dells last week. It was from Sunday to Wed. It was fun for the most part, with usual family interactions plus a little extra for good measure. The important part is the Megan had a blast at all the water parks and a huge climbing indoor play park. I have 75 pictures to go through, I'll post some of the better ones tomorrow.

I blog. A a dog licks himself.

Coming up on 4 years of this silly blog, makes me wonder why I've kept it going so long. At first it was for me, then it was to post pictures of Megan, then it was to bitch. But for the most part it's always been for me. My own little exaggerated sense of self-importance. The truth is, I blog for the same reason a dog licks himself. Sad? Maybe.

This week isn't getting any better. Work sucks, but no longer do I feel there is anyone to blame. I can finally see the machine for what it is. No one is at fault for being a part of the machine, it's how we all collect a pay check. Be a part of the system, don't fight it. (please, no comments about how I can choose to do something else, change jobs, find meaning in a job, etc.) Still, some days it feels like I'm the only one motivated to do better work simply because I like income. And because of the fact that I want to make a product that sells well, the customers like, and that helps generate more revenue, (so I have more chance at increased income) I'm the bad guy for pointing out obvious bad things. Yeah! Go me! I'm a team player!

I'm not even going to get started about the weather... I signed up for this stupid 10 mile run this weekend, and it's like 5 below out side. Why did I sign up? For the free T-shirt... Hey wait, I just picked up the shirt today. Why run in the cold? Motivation is slowly slipping away.

Aside from that, last Sunday was awesome. It was probably the best day I've had in quite some time. It wasn't without it's down sides as well, but whatever. I enjoyed Watchmen VERY much, and need to see it again. It was the best movie I have seen in quite some time. Anyone that doesn't like it should read the comic, then see it again. If you still don't like the movie, then you probably just don't like the story (or the comic).

Here's a new one. Megan just fell asleep in my arms while writing this post. Did I just bore her to sleep? Quite possibly... It's 7:30pm, or technically 6:30pm prior to day lights savings. Somehow I have this odd feeling that putting her in her bed to sleep right now is going to be an all time back fire. Who needs sleep anyway, it's overrated. See you at 2am Megan!

And the week shall prevail

The good: Ran 3 days in a row this week with no pains, and by the third day, I'd say I am 100%. Good to feel better finally, especially since I ended up signing up for a 10 mile race for next week. At first I wasn't going to do it, being this early in the year, but it's paid for by my work. Too hard for me to pass up a free run and T-shirt.

The bad: The dark cloud that formed at the end of Feb has yet to pass. Is it that time already? It's usually around once every 6 months. Looking back I think I made a full year this time. It's hard to talk opening and honestly about all the things that have me down right now. Such a mixture of many things, most of which are too private to post about here.

I think that is part of the main reason I haven't been posting much in general. Why bother blogging if I can't really share? I mean, my day to day life is far from exciting. Down right boring for the most part. And I'm certianly not clever enough to come up with interesting whitty blogs about observations on life. (especially when most of those observations are of the negative type)

So where does that leave me? Not sure... Somewhere between trying to enjoy my time with Andrea and Megan, gaming with one of my old best friends from years ago, spending time with my brother and sister in law to see Watchmen this weekend (just finished the novel).

In the end, maybe it is simply just the next phase of my life looming over me that has me brooding about the future again. I'm excited of course, but at the same time seeing the crest of the wave. Am I ready for it to hit? Am I going to be able to ride it, stay on top, and not get buried? Will my current situation hold out long enough to support the ones that need it the most?

The unknowns. They always get to me, because in my mind, it's best to consider all the negative outcomes first. If you assume bad things will always happen, then even the most mundane of good things can seem like the best thing in the whole world.