As this week and month both come to a close, I'm reminded once again how fast it all seems to be flying by. Casey is 8 months old and is going to be walking soon. Megan is 4 going on 13. Every now and then she just sighs, looks up at me, rests her head in her hands and says, "It's hard to be a girl sometimes." It breaks my heart, but it is oh so cute. Just you wait!
The funny thing is, I predicted this back in July of last year. I knew things would start to speed up, and sure enough, they are. The scary thing is, recently I've been wondering if the routine is starting to get to me.
Right about now, I could go off on the deep end, like I often do. Like how lately I've been wondering if the systems we are a part of, are created by us on purpose. Are the concepts of work, making money, and all the rest a way of controlling ourselves? I mean, think of the alternatives?
What if people didn't need to work for a living. What if everything you ever needed to "survive" (food, clothes, shelter) for you're entire life was immediately provided the day you were born. What then? Would the world be a better place or a worse one?
After doing "work" that is meaningless for so long, it hardly even bothers me anymore. I can think back to the early years and remember how hard it was. I'd leave work going, "Is this it?" Unless something major occurs or some insane self employment opportunity/idea hits me out of no where (about as likely as winning the lotto), I'll probably be working at some random company doing some random computer/programming related thing for the rest of my career. I'll always be overworked, underpaid, and under appreciated for my efforts. Odds are high that I'll always be a grunt, or at best, the highest of the grunts. (which probably just amounts to more pressure, higher work load, and bigger expectations than the other grunts)
Can I deal with that? Yeah, probably. The problem is, I'm not 100% sure what the price is going to be. I get caught up in thinking what I do is hard or that I'm so much better at it, when in reality, a trained monkey can do what I do. I need to remind myself that more often, and remember that what goes on at work, good, bad, or whatever, will always be meaningless. And that's okay. Because work isn't where I find meaning.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Video Day
I haven't got any pictures or videos up since Christmas, so I figured it was about time. Casey has really started getting around this last month, climbing up on things, etc. It's hard to say if she will be walking before 1 year, maybe. Not much new on the Megan front, although she has started up swimming lessons again and is doing well. Swimming is something she definitely just enjoys, so we will probably keep that going.
Today is a day of errands and misc stuff, with a dinner date tonight with another couple. We are heading out to eat at Crave, at the Mall of America. I'm hoping our experience is not quite the same as Steve's, I wouldn't mind a mildly bad experience that included a free meal.
Anyway, on to the videos! First up, Megan and Casey speak into the Microphone:
And the second video, from a few nights ago. I was just changing Casey's diaper and she was just soooo giggly. I had to capture it.
Ahhh the sound of laughing babies. Maybe Casey will become an Internet craze and get 95 million hits like that one video. If the video doesn't put a smile on your face, I don't think anything could!
Today is a day of errands and misc stuff, with a dinner date tonight with another couple. We are heading out to eat at Crave, at the Mall of America. I'm hoping our experience is not quite the same as Steve's, I wouldn't mind a mildly bad experience that included a free meal.
Anyway, on to the videos! First up, Megan and Casey speak into the Microphone:
And the second video, from a few nights ago. I was just changing Casey's diaper and she was just soooo giggly. I had to capture it.
Ahhh the sound of laughing babies. Maybe Casey will become an Internet craze and get 95 million hits like that one video. If the video doesn't put a smile on your face, I don't think anything could!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The Hard Questions
Megan is at the age where she asks a lot of questions. I'm never quite sure what depth of answer to give to her. On the one side, I don't want to go into so much detail that she stops listening and goes "oh". On the other, I don't want to over simplify things. So the other day when I was reading the newspaper article about Haiti, and Megan started asking questions, I decided to give her the most honest answers I could, shying away from actually mentioning death, dead people, etc. That ended up in a long series of questions, each more detailed then the next. Why did they get hurt? Who got hurt? Why does the earth shake? Who's going to help them? Why do they need water?
Those interactions are always tricky, because you never know what Megan might latch on to. For example, recently when one of my Mom's cat's died, I explained to Megan how Pepper died because he was old. This was followed by a week long asking of "Where is Pepper?" and "But I didn't want Pepper to die!" (with some sad crying as well).
Tonight was another one that has come up a few times, maybe a half dozen times total. Megan asked me, "Where is your Daddy?". That is a tough one. Tonight when she asked, I went with a new answer of "He is no longer with us." I don't think she caught on to what I meant by that, but I was just too afraid to use any form of the "D" word.
If I were to stop and think hard about the fact that my daughters will never know Papa Mike, it makes me pretty damn sad. That's probably why I try not to think about it. Hell, I even wish Andrea could have met him. Because despite his flaws, for he had his share, just like me, he was a kind, gentle, loving soul. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm sure he would have loved to be a Papa for three lovely girls after being a father of two unruly boys.
Maybe I'll have my Mom go through and collect some old pictures of Papa Mike and I'll get them scanned in for some permanent storage. And perhaps this year I'll try to share more stories of him with Megan next time the "hard" question comes up.
Those interactions are always tricky, because you never know what Megan might latch on to. For example, recently when one of my Mom's cat's died, I explained to Megan how Pepper died because he was old. This was followed by a week long asking of "Where is Pepper?" and "But I didn't want Pepper to die!" (with some sad crying as well).
Tonight was another one that has come up a few times, maybe a half dozen times total. Megan asked me, "Where is your Daddy?". That is a tough one. Tonight when she asked, I went with a new answer of "He is no longer with us." I don't think she caught on to what I meant by that, but I was just too afraid to use any form of the "D" word.
If I were to stop and think hard about the fact that my daughters will never know Papa Mike, it makes me pretty damn sad. That's probably why I try not to think about it. Hell, I even wish Andrea could have met him. Because despite his flaws, for he had his share, just like me, he was a kind, gentle, loving soul. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm sure he would have loved to be a Papa for three lovely girls after being a father of two unruly boys.
Maybe I'll have my Mom go through and collect some old pictures of Papa Mike and I'll get them scanned in for some permanent storage. And perhaps this year I'll try to share more stories of him with Megan next time the "hard" question comes up.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Little bit of everything
Best words to describe this weekend. Lots of little fun stuff that added up to a decent weekend. Saturday I saw Avatar for the second time, and it was still just as good. I did pay more attention to the whole "Dances With Wolves" comparison that everyone seems so keen on mentioning, and I guess I get it. Did the natives win in that one?
Came home, grabbed Megan and went out for a treat at Cold Stone Creamery. We got inside and Megan yells out, "Look at all those flavors!" The two teenage workers just laughed saying it was the cutest thing they had ever heard. I was like, "What's the big deal? There IS a lot of flavors."
Sunday I got a run in and then enjoyed the Vikings game like most other people this weekend. It would be cool to see them win the division next week, but I'm not going to invest too much concern over it.
In other entertainment news, I've started reading Katherine Kerr novels again. This time, I only went as far back as the start of the final "Act", which is the last 4 books in the series. Originally, as each new "Act" came out, I would go back and re-read the entire series. The first book was published in 1986, and I found them shortly after that in high school, probably either 89' or 90'. The reason I started reading them again recently is that the final book, 15th in the series, was published last November. I recalled it was possibly due out in 2009, but never realized it came out.
It's kinda weird to look back and think I've been reading this book series for the last 20 years. There are plenty of good fantasy novels out there, and lots of great writers and series. For some reason, this is the one I stuck with. I'm excited to see the conclusion, and at the same time, very sad. In some ways, this series is what led me to reading others throughout the years. I might find it hard to go looking for something new once it's all done. By far, these are my favorite books of all time. Every time I read them they get better.
Came home, grabbed Megan and went out for a treat at Cold Stone Creamery. We got inside and Megan yells out, "Look at all those flavors!" The two teenage workers just laughed saying it was the cutest thing they had ever heard. I was like, "What's the big deal? There IS a lot of flavors."
Sunday I got a run in and then enjoyed the Vikings game like most other people this weekend. It would be cool to see them win the division next week, but I'm not going to invest too much concern over it.
In other entertainment news, I've started reading Katherine Kerr novels again. This time, I only went as far back as the start of the final "Act", which is the last 4 books in the series. Originally, as each new "Act" came out, I would go back and re-read the entire series. The first book was published in 1986, and I found them shortly after that in high school, probably either 89' or 90'. The reason I started reading them again recently is that the final book, 15th in the series, was published last November. I recalled it was possibly due out in 2009, but never realized it came out.
It's kinda weird to look back and think I've been reading this book series for the last 20 years. There are plenty of good fantasy novels out there, and lots of great writers and series. For some reason, this is the one I stuck with. I'm excited to see the conclusion, and at the same time, very sad. In some ways, this series is what led me to reading others throughout the years. I might find it hard to go looking for something new once it's all done. By far, these are my favorite books of all time. Every time I read them they get better.
Monday, January 11, 2010
The Megan Factor
Megan is a great kid. Most of the time, she is very well behaved. And by most of the time, I mean damn near 90% of the time or more. She struggles with the things most kids do her age: transitions (leaving something she is enjoying) and times when she is tired.
The hard part is that the "problem times" seem OVERLY difficult. When she has made up her mind to misbehave or not listen to us, she takes it to the N-th degree. At grocery stores it might be running away or throwing things out of the grocery cart. Or running away when leaving the YMCA. At home it's usually physical in nature (hitting/throwing). Being given a timeout just means more running away and hiding under tables. Telling her to stop doing something always just makes it worse. The word "Don't" might as well be "Do that some more." It's getting exhausting, for everyone. Andrea fears for her ability to take both girls out in public alone if she can't control Megan. I feel like I'm contributing to the problem because when faced with an out of control Megan, either in public or at home, I'll simply pick her up or physically remove her from the situation. That is not something Andrea can effectively do now as Megan is older and bigger.
The worst part about it all, is the constant wondering. Are we doing something wrong as parents? Is Megan just going through a "phase"? Should we be reacting differently to her outbursts? Does she need more discipline? Less discipline? Stricter timeouts? Should I not cave to her demands for a yogurt at 10pm because I know if she gets it, she will go to bed right after with a hug and a kiss good night? (and I can't even go into the alternative of if I were to say "No, it's bed time.") Is it possible maybe I just have a spoiled child? Am I too much of a people pleaser?
The constant self doubts are dragging on our family life to be certain. If there was any time in my life I needed serious advice, suggestions, or any thoughts from people who have been through the 4 year old stage, now would be that time. Post a comment, send me an email, or hell, god forbid, call me in person. I've even joined the 20th century, and have a cell phone now, I'll give you the number.
The hard part is that the "problem times" seem OVERLY difficult. When she has made up her mind to misbehave or not listen to us, she takes it to the N-th degree. At grocery stores it might be running away or throwing things out of the grocery cart. Or running away when leaving the YMCA. At home it's usually physical in nature (hitting/throwing). Being given a timeout just means more running away and hiding under tables. Telling her to stop doing something always just makes it worse. The word "Don't" might as well be "Do that some more." It's getting exhausting, for everyone. Andrea fears for her ability to take both girls out in public alone if she can't control Megan. I feel like I'm contributing to the problem because when faced with an out of control Megan, either in public or at home, I'll simply pick her up or physically remove her from the situation. That is not something Andrea can effectively do now as Megan is older and bigger.
The worst part about it all, is the constant wondering. Are we doing something wrong as parents? Is Megan just going through a "phase"? Should we be reacting differently to her outbursts? Does she need more discipline? Less discipline? Stricter timeouts? Should I not cave to her demands for a yogurt at 10pm because I know if she gets it, she will go to bed right after with a hug and a kiss good night? (and I can't even go into the alternative of if I were to say "No, it's bed time.") Is it possible maybe I just have a spoiled child? Am I too much of a people pleaser?
The constant self doubts are dragging on our family life to be certain. If there was any time in my life I needed serious advice, suggestions, or any thoughts from people who have been through the 4 year old stage, now would be that time. Post a comment, send me an email, or hell, god forbid, call me in person. I've even joined the 20th century, and have a cell phone now, I'll give you the number.
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Running Year In Review
Been awhile since I talked about my running, so I figured why not review the last year and do some standard bragging. My goal for 2009 was 1,500 miles. I sorta blew right by that, along with some crazy personal speed records. Let's take look at the last year by the numbers:
Week by week mileage graph:
The 3 days between runs only happened once all year. Reason? Casey was born. There was nothing particularly special about my peak week, just a couple of 9 milers and a 16/12. My lowest week was due to something specific - that was the week I suffered a nasty glut injury from lifting. The funny thing is my good friend suffered the same injury later in the year just from pure running.
I didn't do as many races this year, partly because my company stopped paying for them. I did a total of 5 races this year (I think). All of them were personal records, but only one that I was truely proud of. It was my 10k in late July where I ran an average pace of under 6:50 minute miles. That was probably the hardest run I had ever done. I'm not quite sure I want to try and beat that this year.
So what did all this running get me? A minor Plantar Fasciitis injury, that I think I suffered the last few months due to running hills on the treadmill. It's not causing me serious pain or anything, but I've decide to take a solid week of running, and evaluate again. If the pain is still there, I might go another week after that. Might not seem like a big deal, but when my longest time between runs over the last year was 3 days, it's actually a very huge deal.
Maybe I'll use this as my excuse to finally take up some other forms of exersize, including lifting.
| Total mileage: | 1,858.77 |
| Highest weekly mileage: | 54.66 (7/8/2009) |
| Lowest weekly mileage: | 25 (2/11/2009) |
| Average weekly mileage: | 35.6 |
| Average miles per run: | 8.6 |
| Longest single distance: | 20.43 |
| Longest time between runs: | 3 days |
Week by week mileage graph:
The 3 days between runs only happened once all year. Reason? Casey was born. There was nothing particularly special about my peak week, just a couple of 9 milers and a 16/12. My lowest week was due to something specific - that was the week I suffered a nasty glut injury from lifting. The funny thing is my good friend suffered the same injury later in the year just from pure running.I didn't do as many races this year, partly because my company stopped paying for them. I did a total of 5 races this year (I think). All of them were personal records, but only one that I was truely proud of. It was my 10k in late July where I ran an average pace of under 6:50 minute miles. That was probably the hardest run I had ever done. I'm not quite sure I want to try and beat that this year.
So what did all this running get me? A minor Plantar Fasciitis injury, that I think I suffered the last few months due to running hills on the treadmill. It's not causing me serious pain or anything, but I've decide to take a solid week of running, and evaluate again. If the pain is still there, I might go another week after that. Might not seem like a big deal, but when my longest time between runs over the last year was 3 days, it's actually a very huge deal.
Maybe I'll use this as my excuse to finally take up some other forms of exersize, including lifting.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Belated Happy New Year
Ahhh, the dreaded week between posts. My Mom was waiting for my annual whining about New Years resolutioners packing up the gyms and taking up my treadmills. I think I'll skip that this year, try to focus on the positive? (HA, ya right!)
Busy weekend leading up to the New Years with no time to post. Thursday we had my brother and another couple over for some games. For our second game, we went with Outburst 2, which was from sometime around 1990. Damn was that funny. They left around 10pm and I rang in the new years finishing up my second (and last) play through of Dragon Age: Origins.
New Years day we didn't do much, hit the YMCA in the morning and a few shopping trips in the afternoon. Most of the evening was preparing for our overnight in New Ulm, which was Saturday to Sunday. We dropped Megan off with Grandma Gayle Sat morning and brought Casey to spend the day and night with Grandma and Papa B. We got to see Avatar which completely blew my mind. I will definitely need to see it again in the theater.
So what's next? No rambling post about goals, no reflections on this last year. 2009 was full of tough challenges that I never brought to the blog. It had it's share of positive things as well, but it sucks the way my brain always wants to dwell on the wrong things.
I do know that 2010 is going to be a big year in a lot of different ways, and I'm excited for the coming months. I'm hoping most of the challenges of this year will be mostly forgotten by the time spring rolls around, and we will all be focusing on the positive again.
Busy weekend leading up to the New Years with no time to post. Thursday we had my brother and another couple over for some games. For our second game, we went with Outburst 2, which was from sometime around 1990. Damn was that funny. They left around 10pm and I rang in the new years finishing up my second (and last) play through of Dragon Age: Origins.
New Years day we didn't do much, hit the YMCA in the morning and a few shopping trips in the afternoon. Most of the evening was preparing for our overnight in New Ulm, which was Saturday to Sunday. We dropped Megan off with Grandma Gayle Sat morning and brought Casey to spend the day and night with Grandma and Papa B. We got to see Avatar which completely blew my mind. I will definitely need to see it again in the theater.
So what's next? No rambling post about goals, no reflections on this last year. 2009 was full of tough challenges that I never brought to the blog. It had it's share of positive things as well, but it sucks the way my brain always wants to dwell on the wrong things.
I do know that 2010 is going to be a big year in a lot of different ways, and I'm excited for the coming months. I'm hoping most of the challenges of this year will be mostly forgotten by the time spring rolls around, and we will all be focusing on the positive again.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Christmas Survived
For the most part. Two full days of eating horrible amounts of sweets, chocolate, and anything else I could get my hands on. Even today, I'm still on the tail end despite attempts to get back on the wagon. I got 20 miles of running in over the last 2 days so that at least helps, but it doesn't quite balance out the amount of food intake. I'll recover starting Monday with a 3-fer (3 days in a row of running) Tue/Wed/Thur leading up to New Years Eve.
Thursday we braved the weather and made it up to north Minneapolis in one piece. On the way home, I hit an exit ramp a little too fast and almost slid off the road. Friday everything was melting due to the high temps, and we made it over to my Mom's house easy. By Saturday, with everything frozen and after 2 days of travelling and food and everything else, we just weren't up to another whole day of travel down to New Ulm (sorry!). We'll be heading down there next Saturday anyway. Here are just a few pics and a video from Christmas.
Oh that chocolate fountain was evil. Someone even tried chocolate dipped cheese. No one was ambitious enough to try chocolate dipped meatball.
Casey getting into her first present opening.
Megan got a lovely new dress. She loves wearing a bunch of different costume dresses we have, but some are getting too small or too ragged.
And finally, although I got a lot of video footage from Christmas, this one is my favorite.
Thursday we braved the weather and made it up to north Minneapolis in one piece. On the way home, I hit an exit ramp a little too fast and almost slid off the road. Friday everything was melting due to the high temps, and we made it over to my Mom's house easy. By Saturday, with everything frozen and after 2 days of travelling and food and everything else, we just weren't up to another whole day of travel down to New Ulm (sorry!). We'll be heading down there next Saturday anyway. Here are just a few pics and a video from Christmas.
Oh that chocolate fountain was evil. Someone even tried chocolate dipped cheese. No one was ambitious enough to try chocolate dipped meatball.
Casey getting into her first present opening.
Megan got a lovely new dress. She loves wearing a bunch of different costume dresses we have, but some are getting too small or too ragged.
And finally, although I got a lot of video footage from Christmas, this one is my favorite.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Grand Poobah
I was describing a work situation to Andrea last night and used the term "Grand Poobah", only to immediately have Megan ask, "Whats a Poobah?" That was fun. Not so fun was when I later said "Fubar" and of course, got the same question.
It's 2pm on this lovely Wed afternoon. I just got back from an 11 mile run, Andrea is off seeing 2012, and both girls are napping. This is probably the absolute calmest moment I'll have for the next few days. I'll take it! I always have mixed feelings about time off around the holidays. Sure, I have a 5 day weekend, but it will feel like much less.
Today at least, is mostly laid back. I might head out here before the big snow storm comes and buy a few last minute groceries to get through the weekend. Then comes tomorrow and the "play it by ear". We are slated to visit family in North Mpls, which isn't that far. But depending on the state of the roads, it will feel worse.
Christmas day should be easy however, as it's just spending all day at my Mom's across town here. The big thing this year is that my Mom is going to setup her Chocolate Fountain she got a few years ago, for the very first time. It should be interesting, I think I'm going to get pictures.
Then Saturday, following Christmas, we are scheduled to head down to New Ulm and visit with Andrea's parents for the day. Again, that trip will hinge somewhat on the weather. I'll brave a certain amount, but we'll just have to see how things are looking that morning.
Too all the workers plowing streets over the next 72 hours, my hats off to you. Thanks for making the roads safer for all the holiday travellers and for giving up your time during the holidays.
It's 2pm on this lovely Wed afternoon. I just got back from an 11 mile run, Andrea is off seeing 2012, and both girls are napping. This is probably the absolute calmest moment I'll have for the next few days. I'll take it! I always have mixed feelings about time off around the holidays. Sure, I have a 5 day weekend, but it will feel like much less.
Today at least, is mostly laid back. I might head out here before the big snow storm comes and buy a few last minute groceries to get through the weekend. Then comes tomorrow and the "play it by ear". We are slated to visit family in North Mpls, which isn't that far. But depending on the state of the roads, it will feel worse.
Christmas day should be easy however, as it's just spending all day at my Mom's across town here. The big thing this year is that my Mom is going to setup her Chocolate Fountain she got a few years ago, for the very first time. It should be interesting, I think I'm going to get pictures.
Then Saturday, following Christmas, we are scheduled to head down to New Ulm and visit with Andrea's parents for the day. Again, that trip will hinge somewhat on the weather. I'll brave a certain amount, but we'll just have to see how things are looking that morning.
Too all the workers plowing streets over the next 72 hours, my hats off to you. Thanks for making the roads safer for all the holiday travellers and for giving up your time during the holidays.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Christmas Cometh
My obsessive side wouldn't stop thinking about the filming that happened this week. I kept going over in my head what I wish I would have said, how I wish I would have prepared, and trying to remember what in the world I even did end up saying. I think the worst part is that I feel like I gave video games a bad rap, blaming them for my weight gain. They were a factor to be sure, but they were more my main excuse. At the time, it felt "better" to just lose myself in video games then to face the realities of my bad decisions.
Anyway, long story short, I finally got over myself yesterday and came to a realization. It's just something I did - I'm glad I did it, period. Whatever comes of it, and however it turns out, it is what it is. The bad news is, the actual commercial might not even be put on the interwebs for many months. They are releasing them a few at a time over the next few months. By the time it gets posted, I'll have completely forgot about it. One last thing - they let me take all the pictures I wanted. So here is a behind the scenes shot of where I was.
In other news, Casey offically started crawling this week! Very exiciting stuff. If it wasn't for the bad colds that both Megan and Casey have, this week would have been pretty awesome. Both girls are having hard time breathing at night, and with our luck, Andrea and I will catch it just before Christmas. I'm just hoping they are both a little more healthy in a week.
We also recently went to the eye doctor for Megan, and found that her vision is not improving as much as it needs to. I have a lot of worries about her long term vision, and it's hard to think of the possible negative outcomes. I told the doctor to give me some worst case scenarios last time, because I needed to hear it. Andrea had a GREAT idea recently, to switch to cloth patches instead of the adhesive kind. It's making a huge difference. Megan doesn't mind them, can put them on herself, and will wear them without any fight. We have high hopes these will help over the next year.
Lastly, just a great picture that we took this afternoon while playing around. Andrea's parents came up to visit today, and that was great. We'll be heading down to visit them the next couple weekends as well.
Anyway, long story short, I finally got over myself yesterday and came to a realization. It's just something I did - I'm glad I did it, period. Whatever comes of it, and however it turns out, it is what it is. The bad news is, the actual commercial might not even be put on the interwebs for many months. They are releasing them a few at a time over the next few months. By the time it gets posted, I'll have completely forgot about it. One last thing - they let me take all the pictures I wanted. So here is a behind the scenes shot of where I was.
In other news, Casey offically started crawling this week! Very exiciting stuff. If it wasn't for the bad colds that both Megan and Casey have, this week would have been pretty awesome. Both girls are having hard time breathing at night, and with our luck, Andrea and I will catch it just before Christmas. I'm just hoping they are both a little more healthy in a week.
We also recently went to the eye doctor for Megan, and found that her vision is not improving as much as it needs to. I have a lot of worries about her long term vision, and it's hard to think of the possible negative outcomes. I told the doctor to give me some worst case scenarios last time, because I needed to hear it. Andrea had a GREAT idea recently, to switch to cloth patches instead of the adhesive kind. It's making a huge difference. Megan doesn't mind them, can put them on herself, and will wear them without any fight. We have high hopes these will help over the next year.
Lastly, just a great picture that we took this afternoon while playing around. Andrea's parents came up to visit today, and that was great. We'll be heading down to visit them the next couple weekends as well.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
15 Minutes
Where to start? I need to brain dump some of my thoughts about today, before I forget. I survived the day of filming, and that's the important part. I'm glad I did it, and to have had the experience, but I'm surprised at how hard it was. For someone who talks about himself all the time, you'd think it would have been easier. But being on the spot, trying to consolidate 2+ years of hard work, and how it was that I managed to do a complete 180 on my life wasn't easy at all.
Oddly enough, part of what made it so hard was just how long ago it all really happened. I mean, it's hard to think that I've actually stopped worrying about losing weight for nearly 3 years now. That's a lot of time to forget who and what I was all about when I was overweight. Maybe I should have gone back through some old blog posts and refreshed my memory!
Everyone said I did a great job, but I gotta be honest and say I didn't feel the same way. I was all over the place with what I was saying and overall, let my nervousness get the better of me. Almost like I was trying too hard instead of just letting my thoughts come freely. My only hope is the magical world of editing can mix things up and put it back together into a cohesive, positive message.
Because really, the message I DID want to get across was simple. If you feel like you want to change, don't wait. Change isn't going to be easy, because nothing worth doing ever is. But if you work hard, you can change, and in the end, it's all worth it. Thank you to everyone out there that helped inspire ME to change.
Oddly enough, part of what made it so hard was just how long ago it all really happened. I mean, it's hard to think that I've actually stopped worrying about losing weight for nearly 3 years now. That's a lot of time to forget who and what I was all about when I was overweight. Maybe I should have gone back through some old blog posts and refreshed my memory!
Everyone said I did a great job, but I gotta be honest and say I didn't feel the same way. I was all over the place with what I was saying and overall, let my nervousness get the better of me. Almost like I was trying too hard instead of just letting my thoughts come freely. My only hope is the magical world of editing can mix things up and put it back together into a cohesive, positive message.
Because really, the message I DID want to get across was simple. If you feel like you want to change, don't wait. Change isn't going to be easy, because nothing worth doing ever is. But if you work hard, you can change, and in the end, it's all worth it. Thank you to everyone out there that helped inspire ME to change.
"Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty... I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
-- Theodore Roosevelt
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Unexpected Events
I left off with a teaser for this weekend, mentioning an "interview". Let me start with bursting the bubble that it is not work related at all. Now that I've got that out of the way, on to the real "story".
A few months ago, on the way into work I heard a radio advertisement about the "Do Groove" campaign being put on by Blue Cross/Blue Shield. The ad said they were looking for people who had successfully managed to lose weight. They wanted people to log on to their web site and submit their story, how they did it, why they did it, etc. I figured, what the hell, I got a good story. Most anyone reading this blog already knows more details than I could submit in a few paragraphs, so as you can imagine throwing together some of the bigger aspects about my journey wasn't that difficult.
Fast forward about two months, I had almost forgot about the thing, and I get a phone call from someone with the campaign. They wanted to do a phone interview with me to hear more about what I wrote. I said sure, and a few days later had a 20-30 minute conversation with someone. I was then called back a few days later after that and told they wanted to have me come in for a casting session to potentially be part of their on-line commercial campaign! Once again, I figured, sure what the hell! That sounds both fun and interesting.
So last week Wed, the day of the nasty snow storm, I had a casting interview session that evening, at 3:30pm. I thought I was totally nervous, which I was, and that there was probably no way they would pick me. I can tend to ramble on and figured my incoherent thought processes wouldn't be what they would choose. But Friday night rolls around, and I get the phone call - they would like me to come in and shoot a commercial!
Now, to be clear, these are webisode type commercials. I have no illusions that I would end up on TV (but I'll keep everyone posted!). It is still cool to feel like... I don't know, maybe my experiences have something worth sharing, in a way that might help someone else. That's a good feeling, and yeah, maybe even a little ego stroking too.
Never in a million years when I started making changes in my life did I think it would culminate into something like this. I'm trying not to make it out to be more than it is, I mean, any yahoo with a digital camera can make a video to post on the internet (i.e. videos I post), but it's still cool to be singled out in this way.
The video shoot is Tuesday next week, with some kind of wardrobe session on Monday. Once things get posted up to the web site, I'll let everyone know so you can go read my story and see how my interview turns out. Here's hoping I don't end up too nervous.
A few months ago, on the way into work I heard a radio advertisement about the "Do Groove" campaign being put on by Blue Cross/Blue Shield. The ad said they were looking for people who had successfully managed to lose weight. They wanted people to log on to their web site and submit their story, how they did it, why they did it, etc. I figured, what the hell, I got a good story. Most anyone reading this blog already knows more details than I could submit in a few paragraphs, so as you can imagine throwing together some of the bigger aspects about my journey wasn't that difficult.
Fast forward about two months, I had almost forgot about the thing, and I get a phone call from someone with the campaign. They wanted to do a phone interview with me to hear more about what I wrote. I said sure, and a few days later had a 20-30 minute conversation with someone. I was then called back a few days later after that and told they wanted to have me come in for a casting session to potentially be part of their on-line commercial campaign! Once again, I figured, sure what the hell! That sounds both fun and interesting.
So last week Wed, the day of the nasty snow storm, I had a casting interview session that evening, at 3:30pm. I thought I was totally nervous, which I was, and that there was probably no way they would pick me. I can tend to ramble on and figured my incoherent thought processes wouldn't be what they would choose. But Friday night rolls around, and I get the phone call - they would like me to come in and shoot a commercial!
Now, to be clear, these are webisode type commercials. I have no illusions that I would end up on TV (but I'll keep everyone posted!). It is still cool to feel like... I don't know, maybe my experiences have something worth sharing, in a way that might help someone else. That's a good feeling, and yeah, maybe even a little ego stroking too.
Never in a million years when I started making changes in my life did I think it would culminate into something like this. I'm trying not to make it out to be more than it is, I mean, any yahoo with a digital camera can make a video to post on the internet (i.e. videos I post), but it's still cool to be singled out in this way.
The video shoot is Tuesday next week, with some kind of wardrobe session on Monday. Once things get posted up to the web site, I'll let everyone know so you can go read my story and see how my interview turns out. Here's hoping I don't end up too nervous.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Lucky SOB
That's me. A week or so back I had planned on taking Wed off this week, for an ear appointment and to be home so Andrea could goto the dentist. Lo and behold, I get to stay home, using sick time, on the day of the horrible snow storm! I also was able to schedule an interesting interview later in the day... but more on that this weekend (teaser!).
Winter is offically here, and it offically sucks. I forgot how quickly traffic becomes an absolute nightmare. This morning I woke up late (6am) and wasn't on the road until 6:30am. It added a solid 10-15 minutes to my commute. Ugh! More motivation to get out and on the road even earlier these days...
The worst part about winter, is that when the commute becomes longer, something has to give time wise. That means less time running or worse, more "skip" days. After being in the car for a solid hour, the last thing I want to do is get on the treadmill for another hour.
Enough whining for now. In other news, Casey is growing up fast. She is trying so hard to crawl these days, just not quite sure how it works. Her upper two teeth are coming in already and she is trying lots of new baby foods all the time. Megan is still... Megan. Might be time to take the advice I've been given and read a few more parenting books.
Winter is offically here, and it offically sucks. I forgot how quickly traffic becomes an absolute nightmare. This morning I woke up late (6am) and wasn't on the road until 6:30am. It added a solid 10-15 minutes to my commute. Ugh! More motivation to get out and on the road even earlier these days...
The worst part about winter, is that when the commute becomes longer, something has to give time wise. That means less time running or worse, more "skip" days. After being in the car for a solid hour, the last thing I want to do is get on the treadmill for another hour.
Enough whining for now. In other news, Casey is growing up fast. She is trying so hard to crawl these days, just not quite sure how it works. Her upper two teeth are coming in already and she is trying lots of new baby foods all the time. Megan is still... Megan. Might be time to take the advice I've been given and read a few more parenting books.
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Back to the Blog
With Monday off work, this week went by pretty fast. For whatever reason, December always seems to be the "fastest" month of the year. Maybe it's Christmas, maybe it's time off work, who knows. All I know is I'm gonna blink and it's going to be 2010. Twenty Ten. It's weird when you stop to say it outloud. For the last 9 years, we've all been saying "Two thousand and...". But prior to that, we never said "One thousand nineteen hundred and...". Everything was "Nineteen Eighty." Or "Nineteen Ninety Five".
Now, we will enter a transition period. Some people will linger with the current way and say "Two Thousand and Ten". While others will go back to saying "Twenty Ten". Which will you be?
Of course the pending New Year has me thinking about my goals for 2010. I have some good ones, but so far they are all personal goals. I need to do what I did last year and start thinking about goals I want to make for other people. That doesn't quite come off right, because I'm not talking about making goals that I think other people should do. What I mean is, coming up with goals for myself that help other people.
In otherwords, coming up with the things I can do in the next year that help make me a better father, husband, son (& son in-law), brother (& brother in-law), and friend.
I do know that I have a lot of positive thoughts about the future right now, which is very unlike me. It's doubly weird considering all that we are going through right now and some of the family challenges we face on a day to day basis. I mean, it's a monumental task just to get Megan dressed these days. We have fights almost every night once I get home from work, usually revolving around her phyiscal side. Hitting, kicking, biting clothes. I won't even start about bed times and overnights.
Yet somehow, I know it is all going to pass. Megan will grow up, and yeah, it might take a year. Or even two, or hell, even three or more before she gets out of this phase. And during that time I might need to learn how to better deal with her outbursts. But we'll get through it together. I have faith.
Now, we will enter a transition period. Some people will linger with the current way and say "Two Thousand and Ten". While others will go back to saying "Twenty Ten". Which will you be?
Of course the pending New Year has me thinking about my goals for 2010. I have some good ones, but so far they are all personal goals. I need to do what I did last year and start thinking about goals I want to make for other people. That doesn't quite come off right, because I'm not talking about making goals that I think other people should do. What I mean is, coming up with goals for myself that help other people.
In otherwords, coming up with the things I can do in the next year that help make me a better father, husband, son (& son in-law), brother (& brother in-law), and friend.
I do know that I have a lot of positive thoughts about the future right now, which is very unlike me. It's doubly weird considering all that we are going through right now and some of the family challenges we face on a day to day basis. I mean, it's a monumental task just to get Megan dressed these days. We have fights almost every night once I get home from work, usually revolving around her phyiscal side. Hitting, kicking, biting clothes. I won't even start about bed times and overnights.
Yet somehow, I know it is all going to pass. Megan will grow up, and yeah, it might take a year. Or even two, or hell, even three or more before she gets out of this phase. And during that time I might need to learn how to better deal with her outbursts. But we'll get through it together. I have faith.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Late Videos
I promised 3 days in a row of videos, but the rest of the weekend just got away from me. Sunday we did an awesome amount of family stuff, Casey's first ever swimming trip to the YMCA, Vikings game, and dinner with the family. Made for a fun but long day, with no time for blogging. I even had Monday off work but still had other things going on.
Here is the last video in my video series of blog posts. It was from Saturday this weekend while Andrea and Megan were setting up the Christmas tree. I didn't realize the clip was so long (2:34) when I uploaded it. Hopefully it's not too long as to cause boredom!
Does that video seem familiar? Because it should. Almost exactly three years ago, we saw a similar event. Granted Megan was a little older than Casey is now...
Here is the last video in my video series of blog posts. It was from Saturday this weekend while Andrea and Megan were setting up the Christmas tree. I didn't realize the clip was so long (2:34) when I uploaded it. Hopefully it's not too long as to cause boredom!
Does that video seem familiar? Because it should. Almost exactly three years ago, we saw a similar event. Granted Megan was a little older than Casey is now...
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Fall down go boom
There is always a first time for everything right? I have logged quite a few miles on treadmills, but today I had a new first. I got flung off. It was my own fault, but damn was it funny. See, at the YMCA they have these over head flat screens right in front of the treadmills. I got sucked into watching an episode of "Monk" which I hardly ever watch. So I'm staring up and to the left and not noticing I'm slowly getting off center... I go to stop for a moment, only my feet don't land where I expect them to land (on the edges), BAM, next thing I know, I'm flung completely off the end of the treadmill.
Now, being as tall as I am, and 180+ pounds means the crash and landing sounded much worse then it was. People around thought I could have been seriously injured. I did scrape my leg up in one spot pretty good and got a nice rash burn on my arm but was otherwise fine. I kept running after my spill. The best part was when a few women behind me said, "Don't worry that's happened to me too."
Okay, on to the promised movies for today. These are from Thanksgiving day. This first one doesn't have anything special in it. Just a random 2 minute clip from my Thanksgiving day. Notice all the cheating going on in this game of "Cootie".
This next clip is of Megan playing the tuba. She has never been given specific directions on how to blow, to make your lips do that vibrating thing they need to do for brass instruments. She just sorta does it, and very well. I honestly don't think I could do that if I tried. Papa B says we should definitely consider wind instruments in her future.
Now, being as tall as I am, and 180+ pounds means the crash and landing sounded much worse then it was. People around thought I could have been seriously injured. I did scrape my leg up in one spot pretty good and got a nice rash burn on my arm but was otherwise fine. I kept running after my spill. The best part was when a few women behind me said, "Don't worry that's happened to me too."
Okay, on to the promised movies for today. These are from Thanksgiving day. This first one doesn't have anything special in it. Just a random 2 minute clip from my Thanksgiving day. Notice all the cheating going on in this game of "Cootie".
This next clip is of Megan playing the tuba. She has never been given specific directions on how to blow, to make your lips do that vibrating thing they need to do for brass instruments. She just sorta does it, and very well. I honestly don't think I could do that if I tried. Papa B says we should definitely consider wind instruments in her future.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Video & Picture Series
I'm currently in the process of uploading another 500 megs worth of movies to youtube. Only a few minutes worth of clips, but dang do I love my new camera.
For that reason, I'm going to do a 3-day series of just movie clips and pictures from the last few days. Fun stuff from before, during, and after Thanksgiving. This year was a nice mellow Thanksgiving, and for the first time since I can remember, we only did one Thanksgiving destination this year. That made things even less stressful and also made it easier to not over eat!
To kick things off, here are a couple videos taken the night before Thanksgiving. I was just going to snap a few pictures when the camera was accidentally on video mode, so I just ran with it. Megan just loves performing for the camera, what can I say!
And more of Casey as well!
For that reason, I'm going to do a 3-day series of just movie clips and pictures from the last few days. Fun stuff from before, during, and after Thanksgiving. This year was a nice mellow Thanksgiving, and for the first time since I can remember, we only did one Thanksgiving destination this year. That made things even less stressful and also made it easier to not over eat!
To kick things off, here are a couple videos taken the night before Thanksgiving. I was just going to snap a few pictures when the camera was accidentally on video mode, so I just ran with it. Megan just loves performing for the camera, what can I say!
And more of Casey as well!
Monday, November 23, 2009
2 days to weekend
Gotta love the short weeks. Today just dragged on after 2pm, because I didn't feel like starting anything ambitious that late in the day. The next two days will probably be more of the same, unless I start working on some side projects. You know, that one side project of mine to re-architect a 10 year old software product from the ground up. Hey, I might win the lottery too.
I had a ton of free time this weekend for various reasons, but I didn't get a chance to blog because I was too busying playing a new video game, Dragon Age: Origins. I'm a huge fan of Bioware games and this one is shaping up to be one of their best, if not THE best. It has one minor flaw in my opinion, and I already have a workaround via a user created mod. Gotta love the PC gamer community.
I got about 8 hours of gaming in over the 3 days of this past weekend, which is a lot for me. The progress tracking aspects of the game say I've explored about 10% of the world/game. That's decent if that is the case. I'm not rushing through it or anything, trying to explore everything/do all side quests. If that gives me 80 hours of gaming, I'd be very happy. I think Wolfenstein gave me a whole 15 hours, if that.
Thanksgiving is going to be a lot less stress this year, as we will only have one destination. Less travelling, less rushing around. Should make for a pleasant visit. And more importantly, I only have to worry about over eating once instead of twice! Yes!
I had a ton of free time this weekend for various reasons, but I didn't get a chance to blog because I was too busying playing a new video game, Dragon Age: Origins. I'm a huge fan of Bioware games and this one is shaping up to be one of their best, if not THE best. It has one minor flaw in my opinion, and I already have a workaround via a user created mod. Gotta love the PC gamer community.
I got about 8 hours of gaming in over the 3 days of this past weekend, which is a lot for me. The progress tracking aspects of the game say I've explored about 10% of the world/game. That's decent if that is the case. I'm not rushing through it or anything, trying to explore everything/do all side quests. If that gives me 80 hours of gaming, I'd be very happy. I think Wolfenstein gave me a whole 15 hours, if that.
Thanksgiving is going to be a lot less stress this year, as we will only have one destination. Less travelling, less rushing around. Should make for a pleasant visit. And more importantly, I only have to worry about over eating once instead of twice! Yes!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Future Generation
At least half the time I take Megan to McDonalds, I see something rather disturbing. Usually my follow up thought is "Man, I should post about that." Anything from worlds most angry parents to the absolute rudest teenage workers, swearing up a storm behind the counter, ignoring people waiting to order.
Usually I end up forgetting or not having the motivation by the time I get home. But tonight was disturbing enough to post. There was an elderly black man working the counter. Clearly he was new and had trouble taking orders. A young boy came up and said they forgot the honey with his order. The man didn't quite understanding him and didn't know where the honey was. Finally a younger white worker came over and showed him where it was. As I ordered, I did my best to patiently order and help the guy out. I even jokingly said, "I'll take 2 of those honeys also, now that you know where they are." He chuckled a little. I watched as the next person ordered in absolute disgust that the guy couldn't take her order in under 10 seconds. Getting verbally frustrated that she had to repeat herself twice that she wanted the MIGHTY kids meal, not the normal kids meal. (I didn't even know there was such a thing). I got sick to my stomach as I listened to the exchange get worse, and had to walk away.
Later, when I took Megan to the bathroom, the younger worker that was helping train the older new guy was talking with another worker. The exchange went something like this:
Guy 1: "Why do they have me training that guy?"
Guy 2: "Cause I'm not gonna do it."
Guy 1: "I'm not even black, why don't they get one of the black guys to do it."
Now, I'm not going to pretend McDonalds is a bastion of good morals, or that they hire the most quality people, but seriously wtf? I've seen some crappy things there but this one takes the cake. I felt like saying something, anything, about having a little more respect. I didn't because it obviously wouldn't matter. But is this attitude of the next generation? Is this the type of prejudice my kids will grow up around? Is today's youth full of smart ass kids who think they deserve whatever they want? Does asking these questions make me a crotchety old man?
I like to think I'm accepting of different types of people. I might not be 100% comfortable in every situation I could think of, but I can imagine at least trying. Is respecting people and being tolerant of differences something that is taught by parents? I don't recall my parents teaching me anything in particular about that topic. (sorry Mom!) So how did I come to this conclusion that basic respect of other humans is a standard way of living? Who knows... but I do know two things. One, I will never ever let my kids work at a fast food restaurant. (no offense Keara!) Two, I don't know if I want to just "hope" my kids end up with those basic qualities I deem essential to being a "good" person.
Church anyone?
Usually I end up forgetting or not having the motivation by the time I get home. But tonight was disturbing enough to post. There was an elderly black man working the counter. Clearly he was new and had trouble taking orders. A young boy came up and said they forgot the honey with his order. The man didn't quite understanding him and didn't know where the honey was. Finally a younger white worker came over and showed him where it was. As I ordered, I did my best to patiently order and help the guy out. I even jokingly said, "I'll take 2 of those honeys also, now that you know where they are." He chuckled a little. I watched as the next person ordered in absolute disgust that the guy couldn't take her order in under 10 seconds. Getting verbally frustrated that she had to repeat herself twice that she wanted the MIGHTY kids meal, not the normal kids meal. (I didn't even know there was such a thing). I got sick to my stomach as I listened to the exchange get worse, and had to walk away.
Later, when I took Megan to the bathroom, the younger worker that was helping train the older new guy was talking with another worker. The exchange went something like this:
Guy 1: "Why do they have me training that guy?"
Guy 2: "Cause I'm not gonna do it."
Guy 1: "I'm not even black, why don't they get one of the black guys to do it."
Now, I'm not going to pretend McDonalds is a bastion of good morals, or that they hire the most quality people, but seriously wtf? I've seen some crappy things there but this one takes the cake. I felt like saying something, anything, about having a little more respect. I didn't because it obviously wouldn't matter. But is this attitude of the next generation? Is this the type of prejudice my kids will grow up around? Is today's youth full of smart ass kids who think they deserve whatever they want? Does asking these questions make me a crotchety old man?
I like to think I'm accepting of different types of people. I might not be 100% comfortable in every situation I could think of, but I can imagine at least trying. Is respecting people and being tolerant of differences something that is taught by parents? I don't recall my parents teaching me anything in particular about that topic. (sorry Mom!) So how did I come to this conclusion that basic respect of other humans is a standard way of living? Who knows... but I do know two things. One, I will never ever let my kids work at a fast food restaurant. (no offense Keara!) Two, I don't know if I want to just "hope" my kids end up with those basic qualities I deem essential to being a "good" person.
Church anyone?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Tuesday going on Friday
Oddly enough, this time last year turned out to be almost exactly the same. Great weather all weekend in the first weekend of Nov, 2008 lead to 3 days and 24 miles. This weekend was no different. Only difference this year was 3 days and 30 miles.
Last night I took Megan to get an H1N1 shot. She was a champ, totally brave. For being so good about the whole thing, we grabbed a couple chocolate dipped cones from Dairy Queen afterwards. Today she said she wanted to be a Doctor when she grows up, like the lady that gave her the shot.
Casey is also doing well, finally over the whole series of colds that came through the house a few weeks ago. Seems to be sleeping well but I know Andrea is still longing for the days where she can sleep straight from 9pm to 7am. The funny part is how I've completely forgotten when that occurs. And if it wasn't for this blog, I'd probably never remember.
It looks like Megan had some long sleeps around the end of July 2006. That would put her at just under 2 years. And then we transitioned Megan to the bed when she was just over 2 years old. Despite the fact that time seems to be flying by lately, Casey being almost 2 years old seems very far off.
Tonight I'm alone with the girls and decided not drag them around to go watch V. Casey has been going to bed around 7pm a lot recently, so I figured I don't need to push it and make her stay awake until past 8pm. I suppose I should actually go, you know, do actual Fatherly type things instead of blog about it.
Last night I took Megan to get an H1N1 shot. She was a champ, totally brave. For being so good about the whole thing, we grabbed a couple chocolate dipped cones from Dairy Queen afterwards. Today she said she wanted to be a Doctor when she grows up, like the lady that gave her the shot.
Casey is also doing well, finally over the whole series of colds that came through the house a few weeks ago. Seems to be sleeping well but I know Andrea is still longing for the days where she can sleep straight from 9pm to 7am. The funny part is how I've completely forgotten when that occurs. And if it wasn't for this blog, I'd probably never remember.
It looks like Megan had some long sleeps around the end of July 2006. That would put her at just under 2 years. And then we transitioned Megan to the bed when she was just over 2 years old. Despite the fact that time seems to be flying by lately, Casey being almost 2 years old seems very far off.
Tonight I'm alone with the girls and decided not drag them around to go watch V. Casey has been going to bed around 7pm a lot recently, so I figured I don't need to push it and make her stay awake until past 8pm. I suppose I should actually go, you know, do actual Fatherly type things instead of blog about it.
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