Beyond Cold

Just a few days left until Christmas and we got a crap load of snow and cold weather dropped on us. At least it waited until the weekend. Commute times have been horrible lately, taking as much as an hour or more. So far nothing has topped last years record of a 2 hour commute.

This last week has been full of ups and downs leading up to Christmas. From work, to family, to Megan, to me. I'm glad I ended up taking as much time off as I did, I can use the break. Just 4 working days for me left this year. (2 sets of Monday/Tuesday). This weekend we mostly just stayed inside, although we did get out today to do some shopping and over to my Mom's. I'm blogging from her computer now while everyone else is watching Shrek with Megan.

Christmas Eve we will be heading to the Anderson's in the evening. Seeing everyone will be great. There have been a number of bad things that have happened to pretty much everyone on that side of the family, so hopefully this will be a time to forget all that and just remember the good times. I think back on my life and how, no matter what else, Christmas Eve and Christmas day were always there. Always a time to see family, always a time to enjoy food, company, and for the kids, lots of gifts. I think about the future too and how much I want to hold on to that as long as I can, and perhaps, if needed, begin my own family traditions that Megan gets to grow up with year after year.

Speaking of that, Christmas morning will be just such a tradition. For the last few years we've decided to claim Christmas morning as the one "small" family thing we do. I love to make a big breakfast for everyone, something my Dad used to do from time to time. I can't recall if he did it every single Christmas morning, but it was something he is remembered for today. I like to think about him while I'm cooking for everyone. This year, Andrea's parents will also be making the drive up to spend the morning with us. Long story short, it means our Christmas time driving this year is going to be greatly reduced. Can't complain about that!

Probably won't get to post again until after Christmas, so I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful week. Stay safe and stay warm!!

Merry Christmas!

Seriously Slacking

Not enough posts make Shawn a dull blogger. Yes, I start out every post bitching about how I don't post enough. Tough, suck it up and deal with it. Somewhere right around Thanksgiving, I decided to start playing World of Warcraft again, which I had quit back in April. This time, I'm not going to get into any of the competitive aspects, it's purely going to be what it should have been all along: a night time hobby to pass some time. I'm going to miss the extra hours of sleep, but whatever. I've been sleeping too much as it is.

Anyway, that was a really long story to explain why I'm not blogging as much.

Last Monday, I came home to an awesome surprise. Out of no where, Megan sang her entire ABC's song to me! She had recently started singing the whole "Twinkle Twinkle" song as well, even to the point where she wouldn't want you to sing along with her sometimes. "No Daddy, I do it!" It was a joy to come home and hear her belt out the whole ABCs.

Not everything is going so well, I am still struggling with her physicality and dissobediance. Sure, it might just be normal 3 year old behavior, but it sure doesn't make it any easier. When I have no good comparisons to draw from, I just assume Megan is a little hellion. Punching and kicking me if I take away something, throwing toys at me if I don't do what she wants immediately when she wants it. Every night is excitement!

I've been thinking hard about my New Years resolutions, and finally came to some realizations. (don't I always?) For starters, I decided resolutions are usually by definition, somewhat selfish. I've decide this year that I'm going to make my resolutions in a slightly different way. One for myself, and all others for someone else. I'm sure this makes no sense, but again, whatever! I'll be the first to admit my brain hasn't been firing on all cylinders lately.

I Do It

This week was easier than last week despite the fact that it was a full week instead of 3 days. December is always a slow time for software development. One interesting thing did occur this week. It's one of those things that once again, I better not post about. Let's just say, I've officially lost all faith that the business has any clue what it's doing. Long story, but you're going to have to ask me in person.

In other news, Megan's Independence is hitting all new levels. I've always had this feeling she had more "independent" traits than normal kids. Positive things like never going through a separation phase when we left her places. And negative things like not listening to her parents. Either way, I think it's all starting to make sense. Meaning, I'm starting to see her personality emerging as a whole. Doesn't make it any less challenging, but at least I might be able to start focusing on the way her personality influences her actions. And if I'm lucky, maybe start to focus on how to guide her actions based on her personality. Make sense? Good.

Basically the last 2-3 weeks has begun the "I do it!" phase. Megan has to do EVERYTHING her self. And she will let us know. And then she will smack us or run away if we try to help. From putting clothes on, to pouring juice, to putting the toothpaste on her toothbrush. You name it, "I DO IT!". She won't even let me help her with the computer these day!

Yesterday we had a very nice visit with Santa Clause. Megan said she was going to ask Santa for party hats and candy for Christmas. And sure enough when we got there, she asked for party hats (she had party hats for her birthday party back in October). This may sound weird, but we saw Santa Clause at our realators office, Edina Realty. We had also gone there for Halloween to do jumpers and get a free pumpkin. I have to say, our realtors are very nice. After arriving, they gave us a big popcorn tin, a nice fleece blanket, and a stuffed Santa for Megan.

Megan and Santa:


Megan picked out what face painting she wanted. She choose Rudolph.


Not quite sure what to think about her expression, but I'm glad I captured it.


Checking herself out in a mirror after it was all done.

To Climb a Mountain

Thank you everyone for the congrats and well wishes. Also a big congrats to Adam & Pilar! I hope you guys are both doing very well. Plenty of time for more baby news later, so back to "me" things.

I finally finished reading Why We Hate Us. It was a struggle to get through the middle section, as it got very boring and almost rant-like as the author went on and on about politics, news media, and our obsessions with fake crap (like celebrities). But in the end, he finally brought it together. Honestly though, from a pure philosophical point of view, I would have rather just read the first two chapters and the last chapter.

His final thoughts really got me thinking, which is exactly what I had hoped would happen all along. It was the reason I got the damn book, because I felt like I identified in some way with what he was trying to say. He basically said that introspection is not the path to happiness. He drew an analogy that attempting to find happiness through introspection is akin to "climbing a difficult mountain simply because you want the picture on the office wall; you either won't make it to the top or the experience will be hollow and unimportant."

That struck a nerve with me. I'm not saying it's got me doing a 180 on how I think about things, but it does have me reflecting on decisions in a different light. The other core idea he presents is authenticity, and making decisions for authentic reasons. I have often stated out loud how I hate "fake" people, but how authentic am I?

Here is the core passage that I enjoyed tonight, I just wanted to share it in it's entirety:

For our purposes, trying "to climb a mountain to prove how big you are" is similar to trying to find your true self or worldly status to solve your life's problems. This is a doomed venture not just because it is selfish but because it's looking for happiness in all the wrong places. This is frustrating because society seems to promise that you can get to the summit of Mount Self going solo. But you can't. You can only climb. So much of our well-intentioned, high-toned modern soul searching is like an internal version of striving for material success, believing that you can get to the top of Mount Happy and Healthy, displaying yourself to the world in a way that will bring instant stature, respect, and love; that acquiring something - even something "spiritual" - can be an enduring part of your happiness and worth, be it a flat-screen television, fancy job title, tattoo, gun, tenured professorship, great body, wealth, fame, blond hair, a bigger house than your neighbor's, or a well-received book. It's like the hedonistic treadmill. Someone will always have a bigger television, car, bass boat, job and house, or a better book. So "you almost never make it," as Pirsig* said. If those are the goals you seek, you will "have to prove yourself again and again in some other way, and again and again and again."* You'll worry about being exposed.

So if you want to climb Mount Authenticity, think about the climb, about making decisions for authentic reasons. Those will, in turn, be unselfish decisions. Think about climbing well and being a good climbing partner to others. Don't fixate on the summit.

*Items are from Robert Pirsig's Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance which he quotes a lot.