Friday, April 30, 2010

Do It Yourself

In the end, my washing machine was fixed, and it was free. But once again, I found myself having to get it taken care of myself. Yes, the sales guy at Home Depot was trying to help but ultimately he was useless. He called GE a few times, and said they would take care of me, but he never bothered to either give me the extension of a GE customer service rep or a case number. All he could give me was a name. So in the end, after calling GE multiple times, I finally just said "Screw this" and pleaded my case to the next representative I got. She agreed to help me and we had a service guy out on Thursday and he fixed the washer for free. So Linzy, call rep from GE, thanks for helping me out!

I've known for quite sometime, that my inability to ask for help is one of my bigger character flaws. I recently confessed to a friend of mine how I find it hard to have faith in other people. I think that might be part of why I find myself drawn to friendships with people with strong religious convictions. A small part of me likes to think they are more honest or trust worthy. Sadly, even that is a form of profiling.

The overarching problem is that my pessimistic personality spills over into my view of what might motivate other people. I operate under this assumption that most people only either care about themselves, only do things motivated in self interest, and if push came to shove, will always look out for their own self interests first.

A lot of my decisions are based on the assumption that I have no one to rely on but myself. It's sorta like social security. In my mind, it doesn't even exist. I assume that when I retire, the only money I'll have to pay for the rest of my life will be the money that I earned and saved. That might be an extreme example, but it illustrates my point.

The reason I consider this such a character flaw, is not so much the "no one would ever help me if I needed it" attitude that I have, but more so, the indirect side effect of not being able to rely on other people. It also means it's very hard to look to others for help in other areas such as emotional or yes, maybe even spiritual support. (and before you get too excited, I'm refering more to the "values and meanings by which people live" type of spirituality, not religion per-say)

I also assume that eventually I'm going to have to ask for help. At some point in my life, I'll need support of one kind or another. And maybe by then I'll get past my inability to rely on others for good. In the meantime, I'll keep hanging up on random people that call my house because I just assume they want something from me. I'm sure someday I'll hang up on someone calling to tell me I just won a million dollars.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Weekend of Free Stuff

At first I planned on blogging about the horrible weather conditions on Saturday morning, how cold and miserable I was during my race, or how the rain put a dent in my otherwise decent DVD selling later in the day. Instead, I'm going to shift gears and actually talk about something positive! Me? Positive? No way!

First off is my camera problem. About 3 weeks ago my brand new camera went kaput. I had just bought it at the beginning of October! I blamed Megan because it stopped working one evening after she brought it up to me from downstairs. Added to that was the fact that the last thing the camera recorded was a series of 16 very suspicious movie clips recorded by Megan (when no one else was around).

Andrea brought the camera into Best Buy, and the Geek Squad sent it off to Cannon since it was still under the 1 year manufacture warranty. I get an email from the Geek Squad after a few weeks, and long story short, they give me a brand new camera. But here's the best part. The model I bought (A1100 IS) is no longer available. So instead, I get a free upgrade to the next model in the PowerShot line, the A3100 IS! It's an even better camera then I had, and it's brand new!

Well, that got my day off to an awesome start. But then, later that afternoon, Andrea calls me downstairs because the washing machine is going nuts. My limited handy man skills tell me it's pretty messed up (the inner portion is just sitting completely off center). This washer is ALSO almost brand new, replaced just last April! However, we were a few weeks past the 1 year warranty so I was worried this time. I decided my best shot was to go to Home Depot (where we bought it) in person and see if I could work some magic. I always seem to have better luck showing up in person.

So what happens? After walking around the store for awhile without finding any good assistance, I decide to swing by Appliances one more time. By pure blind luck I just so happen to run into the very same salesperson that originally sold me the washer. (only now he is working in Flooring). I stopped, we chatted, and another long story short - he got on the phone with GE today and informed me that they are going to be able to help us out, despite being past the official year warranty. Granted the washer isn't fixed yet, but I have faith it will be by the end of the week, again, for free!

Sadly, as the karmic laws of the universe must always prevail, once again when good things happen to me, it means my brother is getting shit on. You see, it's been clear to me for a long time that my brother and I are on opposite sides of some cosmic scale that has to remain in balance at all times. When good things happen to me, bad things happen to him (trust me, this is no joke). So while I was enjoying all this free stuff, my brothers wife was in the emergency room, with a follow up emergency surgery. She is okay now and back home, but I'm sure they will be looking at a few thousand dollars in medical expenses. Why is life so unfair like that?

Friday, April 23, 2010

Day off?

I took the day off work today, for no other reason then Andrea telling me "It's about damn time you took a day off!" Am I working too much? Maybe. Being off today just reminded me once again that I still have the easier job between me and Andrea. I'm friggen beat!

We started off the morning with a trip to the YMCA, where I did a quick 5 miler on the treadmill. Casey did "okay" this time - she cried like CRAZY when we dropped her off at the kids stuff area, but they never called Andrea down to pick her up and by the time we came back she was mostly calm.

After that Megan and I spent an hour at a park, went out for lunch, drove into Minneapolis to pick up my race packet for tomorrows race. Came home, played outside for a few hours, had dinner, more time outside, and blam all of a sudden it's 9pm and I am tired as hell. How on earth does Andrea do this every day all week?

So yeah, tomorrow I have my first race of the year, and the 4th time I will be doing the Get in Gear 10k - the first race I ever ran. The weather looks like it's going to be absolutely horrible, cold and raining. Gotta love it. In the 4 years I've done this race, the weather has only been marginally good once.

The bad weather tomorrow is going to be a double slap in the face. You see, around my place they are having a HUGE neighborhood garage sale. It's a yearly thing, and everyone gets involved. You can find some amazing deals and tons of stuff for kids. Normally it wouldn't bother me too much that the rain is going to ruin the garage sales, but I decided at the last minute to put in a ton of work to sort and arrange my DVD collection in hopes of selling some off. Now it looks like I might not be able to sell any due to the weather. My neighbor at least bought a few already.

I'll report more later on the results of the run, the crappy weather, and my attempt to make a few bucks selling DVDs.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Separation Anxiety

As Casey nears the 11 month mark, we are struggling with some serious separation anxiety. I can't remember when it started, but it must have been almost 2 months ago now. I saw it develop on our Monday night date nights. For the last 2 months, every Monday night Andrea and I were going to a marriage course, "Date Night with a Purpose" it was called. It included private candle lit dinners for two (catered by Roasted Pear!) each night followed by a short informative talk. There was also babysitting provided.

Each night was very hard on Casey, and she would instantly start crying as soon as we dropped her off. It would last for a good 20-30 minutes. A few nights we ended up leaving early to just go comfort her. It's also putting a damper on Andrea's opportunities to go to the YMCA. She can hardly drop Casey off before they are calling her back down because the YMCA staff can't comfort her.

And if that wasn't bad enough, we can't even leave her with Grandma either! This all adds up to some rough times ahead. Mostly it's going to get old fast if Andrea and I can't find time to spend together, do a date night, or even go to a movie together. This weekend I want to see Kick-Ass so badly, but I'll have to go see a 10:30pm showing just so I can see it by myself.

With Megan, it was never this bad at all. Maybe she might whine a little bit, but she could quickly get engaged with something, anything, by whoever it was that was watching her. With Casey it is much worse, we can hardly leave the room. At night when I get home from work, she just clings and clings to me all night until bed time.

I know it should pass, but man I hope it doesn't last much more than another month or two. If it does, I might have to take drastic measures and do things to help get her over it, such as leaving Casey with Grandma for 15 minute periods, working up to an hour, to basically teach her it's going to be okay.

Anyway, here is a very cute video update from a few weeks ago. Show casing the great singing voice on Andrea!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Work: In-Depth

Ahhh, the ultimate taboo subject. For awhile I've been wanting to give an update on work status, but always chicken out at the last second. I figure it's about time to let it all hang out, what the hell!

I could be working right now. In fact, I just got done doing about 20 mins of misc. stuff. At the core, that's the gist of the problem. I've hinted a few times at the way work is invading my thoughts but it's getting pretty bad. The question is why?

I work on some decently fun software. It's got enough complexity as to be challenging, but not too much as to be completely unmanageable. The core of the application was written in the early 2000's and since then, has never gone through any type of rearchitecture. Piece after piece, feature after feature, bolted on in any way it could be. In the end, the app still functions, looks pretty much the exact same as it did 10 years ago, and is just insanely complicated. (for reference, I started in June 2006)

In 2009, I started up the idea of starting fresh. Rebuilding the software from the ground up using latest technologies, techniques, and platforms. This wasn't an original idea by any stretch of the means. It's just that all the previous people to push the idea had either left the company or were too busy dealing with other things. Those facts, combined with the particular position I am in, made it the obvious choice that I needed to be the next to attempt to push for it.

So for a few months, I started pushing. Trying to gain momentum with some of the engineers at levels above me. It didn't seem to take off. The cost of such an effort didn't seem to have an ROI (return on investment). The software works... if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Shortly after that, I went out on leave while Casey was born and when I came back the momentum had completely died. I chucked my idea as simply a bad idea and went back to the normal daily grind.

Then earlier this year, one of the engineers who helped build the original software started up the effort again, specifically calling me in to help, and in a lot of ways, shutting out all the "naysayers". He could see the cliff we are hanging off, and how badly we need to rework parts of the software. So once again, I decided to give it my all. I've determined the cheapest possible solution, wrote up an entire high level scope document, and prototyped the entire damn application.

Why? Because I care about this software? Because I think it will be that much better? No. For two reasons. First, it would be a lot more fun to work in the latest technologies, and second, because it would be fun to hear the "Wow" factor if it ever actually happened and got released. Oh, I suppose the third reason would also be money. I wouldn't put this much effort in if I didn't honestly think it might actually allow us to retain and get new customers, which in return results in better profit sharing and ideally, better raises.

Did I mention I don't get paid enough for the effort I put in?

Saturday, April 10, 2010

4 Year Old Wisdom

I had wanted to get another in-depth post up this week, but the time just wasn't there. Instead I'll switch gears and post some words of wisdom from Megan.

Last night my neighbor mentioned how he was watching the original Star Wars with his kids for the first time. I thought maybe Megan would enjoy watching them, so we headed home and I popped the movie in. As it started, I tried to explain to Megan who the "good guys" and "bad guys" were, to give her a frame of reference. After about 20 minutes into the movie, she just turns to me and says:

Bad guys are just a part of life.
I couldn't agree with her more.

Today Megan and I were on our way to the grocery store, and she had another wonderful quote. Just out of the blue, she goes:

I wish we had a flying car.
Don't we all?

We didn't actually have any plans this weekend, so today we just picked things at random. We decide to start off the afternoon at the Mall of America. Megan is just over 42' inches now, which means she can go on almost all the rides at the MOA. So for the first time ever, I shelled out some money so we could go on some rides together. What I didn't know - is that if you have a child just above 42 inches, some of the rides require that they have a chaperone. But here is the cool part - the chaperone rides free! How cool is that?

We started off on the Ferris Wheel, which didn't allow a free chaperone. That was a rip off, so then we moved on to the Merry-Go-Round, which rocked. But from there... Megan wanted to do the "Orange Crush" roller coaster. This ride only needed the rider to be 42' inches, so being the insane Dad that I am, I said what the hell! Either she will love it or be permanently scarred for life.

This ride qualifies as a "real" roller coaster, despite no huge drops or anything. It is fast and the 3 spin turns are really fast. After the first 10 seconds of the ride and I got worried, but then all of a sudden Megan starts cheering and laughing and just having the time of her life. After we got off, she begged me to go again. Damn straight we did it again! It was awesome!

Here is a video from someone riding this coaster. It should give an idea of how fast this was.



Kind of ironic to find this video on youtube, but not at all if you were Megan. You see, just a few nights ago she turned to me and said:

Everything is on youtube.
How correct she is!

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Running: In-Depth

You might have noticed my updated side-bar. I haven't used the running web site linked to my blog, Buckeye Outdoors, since last November. Since then, they have updated the web site to allow direct linking to my Garmin running watch. Cool stuff!

I've done 4 runs since the weather turned nice, and (fingers crossed), so far so well. My foot isn't 100% but it isn't painful or getting any worse either. Most days, I don't even notice the plantars. I'm going to take this as a good sign that I can keep it up.

On Saturday, I ran my first "long" run of the year. It just barely made the double digits, but that's my qualification for a long run. Although I felt good for most of the run, I was pretty beat by the end of it. Interestingly, I ended up being more worried about my heart rate then my bum foot. An AVR of 175 with a max of 188 was much higher then I'd want for that particular pace.

Thankfully, the next run right after that, at the same pace but a slightly different time of day was better. AHR of 158, and although I only did 6.65 miles, my heart rate profile was much closer to what I would expect for that pace. This was encouraging for my goals this years.

Yes, despite my injury and woah-is-me attitude, I have running goals for this year, just like I did last year. Last year I had a goal of running 1,500 miles. This is a goal I never talked about or even mentioned on my blog. In fact, there is only one person I ever told this goal to. This year is no different. I have running goals, and they are once again sekret.

Like almost all my goals, I have fears. Fears I won't be able to achieve them, fears of failure. In some ways, I think it is these fears that keep my goals sekret. It's better to fail silently, than to admit failure. My first four runs this year have my attitude slightly more positive, and as long as my injury doesn't get any worse, I think I'll be able to achieve my goals for this year. Time will tell.

Friday, April 02, 2010

Crampons

Any geek that has ever played Dungeons & Dragons knows what crampons are. Why? Because they are always available for purchase in the equipment list, and someone always asks, "What are crampons?" Friday I was on the elliptical watching my new favorite show: Cash Cab. A game show where random people in a taxi cab are asked semi-easy trivia questions. At the end, if you make it, you can go double or nothing. The answer to the final question was "crampons", and I knew the answer but the 3 guys in the cab didn't. Obviously they had never played Dungeons & Dragons.

Every single day, from Thursday to today, I tried to sit down and blog. And every single day, 5 minutes into it, something would need my attention. Something isn't adding up because usually I could get some time to myself each night either playing video games or reading, or something.

This week I'm going to start putting in a little more blog effort and post in depth about recent on-goings, from finishing a 20 year book saga to my running, work, and all the rest. For now, since I once again have sat down to blog with only 20 spare minutes, I will keep this post short.

This weekend was great overall, awesome weather. Got a run in on Saturday (check out the new running side-bar). Also went to see Clash of the Titans with my brother Saturday night. It was fun, but nothing spectacular. I enjoyed it.

Today we drove down to New Ulm and visited the in-laws for Easter Sunday. I ate entirely too much candy today, so good thing I'm starting running again. Been floating in the upper 180s, reaching 190 the last 2 months. Time to put a stop to that and get back down to an even 180 for the running season.

Well, I hear the oven beeping so dinner is ready. Gotta jet, but expect more posts this week then the usual once a week.