The good: Ran 3 days in a row this week with no pains, and by the third day, I'd say I am 100%. Good to feel better finally, especially since I ended up signing up for a 10 mile race for next week. At first I wasn't going to do it, being this early in the year, but it's paid for by my work. Too hard for me to pass up a free run and T-shirt.
The bad: The dark cloud that formed at the end of Feb has yet to pass. Is it that time already? It's usually around once every 6 months. Looking back I think I made a full year this time. It's hard to talk opening and honestly about all the things that have me down right now. Such a mixture of many things, most of which are too private to post about here.
I think that is part of the main reason I haven't been posting much in general. Why bother blogging if I can't really share? I mean, my day to day life is far from exciting. Down right boring for the most part. And I'm certianly not clever enough to come up with interesting whitty blogs about observations on life. (especially when most of those observations are of the negative type)
So where does that leave me? Not sure... Somewhere between trying to enjoy my time with Andrea and Megan, gaming with one of my old best friends from years ago, spending time with my brother and sister in law to see Watchmen this weekend (just finished the novel).
In the end, maybe it is simply just the next phase of my life looming over me that has me brooding about the future again. I'm excited of course, but at the same time seeing the crest of the wave. Am I ready for it to hit? Am I going to be able to ride it, stay on top, and not get buried? Will my current situation hold out long enough to support the ones that need it the most?
The unknowns. They always get to me, because in my mind, it's best to consider all the negative outcomes first. If you assume bad things will always happen, then even the most mundane of good things can seem like the best thing in the whole world.
1 comment:
A person close to me, who suffers from depression, was once told to think of the worst case scenario, let it unfold in your head and determine if you could deal with it. Most of the time you can and what actually happens is generally never that bad. May seem simplistic but it's really proved helpful. Love you.
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