Mid week crisis

Here we are, 9pm on Wed and I think about my desire to break the once-a-week blog habit. Then I realize, if I want to blog more (change), I have to do something about it. After all, blogs don't write themselves. Change doesn't just come by itself.

Today my brother made an observation of me. He said that I "value willpower". I had never thought of it that way, but it made a lot of sense when he said it. Not that I've always valued willpower, but I think recently, in the last few years, I have come to. As as a direct result, I admire people that I perceive as having willpower. That might mean any number of things, from someone in a work situation that goes against the grain because they know it is right, even if they might cause waves. To someone who has recovered from addiction. To someone that doesn't swear or watch R-rated movies simply on principle.

Studies have shown all sorts of interesting things about willpower, the one I read about most often, being that willpower is "like a muscle". (see How to Boost Your Willpower) The more you use it, the stronger it gets.

Pushing your heart rate at 180-190 bpm for 42 minutes requires an insane amount of willpower. Either that or just an insane amount of insanity. Either way, running is the way that I give my willpower a boost as well. Forcing myself up at 5am when I'm already running on empty and tired... again, just flexing those willpower muscles.

So why is it, I can't stop myself from eating chocolates from a co-workers "help yourself" stash. Or why do I find myself drinking that third cup of coffee when I really don't need that much caffeine. Or why do I eat all the remainder of the frozen pizza that Andrea and Megan don't eat, when the 3 pieces I had were already enough.

I'll tell you why. Because there is limit to willpower. The studies have shown that too. And each day as I exhaust my supply of willpower on so many other big things, and maintain my levels of self control with so much else, that little mini Hersey's bar doesn't seem all that bad.