That was quick

As this week and month both come to a close, I'm reminded once again how fast it all seems to be flying by. Casey is 8 months old and is going to be walking soon. Megan is 4 going on 13. Every now and then she just sighs, looks up at me, rests her head in her hands and says, "It's hard to be a girl sometimes." It breaks my heart, but it is oh so cute. Just you wait!

The funny thing is, I predicted this back in July of last year. I knew things would start to speed up, and sure enough, they are. The scary thing is, recently I've been wondering if the routine is starting to get to me.

Right about now, I could go off on the deep end, like I often do. Like how lately I've been wondering if the systems we are a part of, are created by us on purpose. Are the concepts of work, making money, and all the rest a way of controlling ourselves? I mean, think of the alternatives?

What if people didn't need to work for a living. What if everything you ever needed to "survive" (food, clothes, shelter) for you're entire life was immediately provided the day you were born. What then? Would the world be a better place or a worse one?

After doing "work" that is meaningless for so long, it hardly even bothers me anymore. I can think back to the early years and remember how hard it was. I'd leave work going, "Is this it?" Unless something major occurs or some insane self employment opportunity/idea hits me out of no where (about as likely as winning the lotto), I'll probably be working at some random company doing some random computer/programming related thing for the rest of my career. I'll always be overworked, underpaid, and under appreciated for my efforts. Odds are high that I'll always be a grunt, or at best, the highest of the grunts. (which probably just amounts to more pressure, higher work load, and bigger expectations than the other grunts)

Can I deal with that? Yeah, probably. The problem is, I'm not 100% sure what the price is going to be. I get caught up in thinking what I do is hard or that I'm so much better at it, when in reality, a trained monkey can do what I do. I need to remind myself that more often, and remember that what goes on at work, good, bad, or whatever, will always be meaningless. And that's okay. Because work isn't where I find meaning.