Self Control

I really should be posting about how I won fantasy football this weekend, and will now be in the championship game this week. Perhaps I will post about that later in the week. Instead, I want to post about something else. Maybe I'll call this my year in review post. Andrea commented about how my posts are always "me, me, me" and "I, I, I". Well too bad, this is my blog! You don't have to read it!

When I look at my life in terms of changes that I have gone through or experienced, this year has probably contained the highest number/most significant ones ever. The big one of course, becoming a father. Aside from that, lets look at some of the other things that happened this year:

This year, I have:

• Had no alcohol for the whole year
• Given up my main past time of the last 5 years (Everquest)
• Stopped eating fast food (cept for Subway 6 inch turkeys!)
• Started exercising in a very serious way
• Completely changed my eating habits, including tons of calorie counting
• Managed to lose enough weight that people actually notice!

Every one of these things has taken a lot of effort, determination and most of all, self control. So why can't I shake this sinking feeling that at any moment, all this self control I have built up over the last year could come crumbling down?

There have been many times this year where a Friday night rolls around and I get a hankering for a screwdriver. Or the many times the opportunity for "all you can eat" has come up. Not to mention free alcohol at various functions. Even tomorrow night will be open bar night at my company's Christmas dinner. Sure, I'll have no problem not drinking because I'm still in my year of no booze. But what about when that ends?

I think that is what scares me. My inability to enjoy things in moderation. I'd like to think that all the changes and things I've accomplished this year will give me sufficient motivation to not fall back into my old habits. I honestly won't know until the time comes. I'm going to try and enjoy all the things I like in the coming year in moderation, whatever it might be. Video games, alcohol, food, what have you. But if I find that "moderation in all things" once again doesn't work for me, I'll have to stick to my all or nothing attitude and just cut those things out for good.