Thursday, June 07, 2007

Off again on again

Made it through this week relatively unscathed. Had some late night meetings at work on the first half of the week, but I was able to weasel my way out of having to attend them today/tomorrow. Worst part of the week was having to go 3 days without a run, and in hind sight, I guess that's not that big a deal.

Once again I find myself struggling with blogging... It feels like all my posts lately have been filled with fluff. A little bit of "I did this, I did that, Megan's growing up" yadda, yadda, yadda. Not really posting about what thoughts are occupying my brain on any given week.

Obviously work occupies my thoughts a lot, and I of course have those fears about posting too much about work. Especially posting my "real" thoughts about work... Last thing I'd want to happen is to get fired because of my blog. I worry about getting fired for enough other reasons, last thing I need is one more.

Then of course are my thoughts about my health and exersize, which I feel like I've just beat to death. Who wants to read about the fact that I'm constantly struggling with my stupid 180 lbs weight goal, or how I go up and down 5-7 lbs every week. I could post for hours about how frustrated I get sometimes with healthy living, how I get so pissed off when I make bad decisions. But who wants to read about me complain about all that crap?

Finally of course are all my thoughts about my family, my friends, life, happiness, and the rest of it all. If you can't tell, I basically stopped posting about that stuff. I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm afraid of sharing my honest thoughts. I know that I've become a very different person over the last year. I've become more judgemental, I seem to have less patience, and sometimes I worry that I've become a bitter person.

I'm 30 years old, turning 31 shortly. What the hell do I have to be bitter about? I don't know... But still, some days it just seems like I just don't really see any good in the world.

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