Summer Vacations

It's been 12 years since my last summer vacation. I don't count any of the summers during college, because I was pretty much working full time for each of them. No, I'm talking about REAL summer vacations. What's funny, is when I look back, it wasn't even the actual vacation that I enjoyed. I can hardly remember what I even did on any given summer vacation. There were some summers during college that I was so itching to get back to school, I would drive up to UMD days in advance.

What I do remember is that last day of the school year. The first day of summer vacation, and the feelings that came along with it. That is what I miss. That feeling of freedom, no responsibilities, and the knowledge that if I really wanted to, I could do absolutely nothing.

As I enter what I personally consider the second phase of my life (perhaps technically speaking, the third phase?), I find myself thinking about those feelings that came with summer vacation. I'm not sure why, other than the fact that my daily commute now takes me through two neighborhoods where I often see kids out enjoying their summer vacation. I wonder to myself, will I ever have that feeling again? Do I want that feeling again? Is that what retirement is?

Who knows... Through a discussion Andrea and I had last weekend about a completely unrelated subject, I realized that we are nearing the peak in our level of responsibilities. The only thing now that would really increase it past where it is now, is if we ever decided to have another child. For me, that added level brings added worries, fears, and stress. What if I lose my job? What if my car needs to be replaced? What if my roof falls in? What if I'm not a good Dad? What if I can't teach Megan to chase her dreams? Trust me... this list goes on.

Yes I know they are irrational thoughts. But they are my thoughts, so there! Besides, aren't most fears irrational by definition?

Speaking of irrational fears, Megan has grown deathly scared of vacuums. She can't even handle the dustbuster being in the same room! It's weird, it's the very first thing she has really been scared of. There are many other firsts going on this week - imitating, crawling, new facial expressions, new vocal sounds... All sorts. I think that the next few months are going to be some of the most fast changing and exciting ever.


As cute as she is crawling over to the TV... only a matter of time before she starts scratching the screen!


All those toys, and she homes in on that... Yes, she will probably be playing video games by age 2.


One of the new faces she makes... she sticks her bottom lip out like she's pouting, it's so damn cute!