Work has got me slightly stressed out lately. Luckily I got a few days off I have to use before the end of the year, and with Christmas and New Years right around the corner, that will help. I've only been there 6 months now and I feel like I'm being asked to do things that would be asked of a 2+ year veteran. It just doesn't feel right, like the ship is strangely missing it's captain. Let's just hope there aren't any icebergs around.
My doctors visit yesterday was pretty uneventful. The doc was pretty shocked at my weight loss, he literally said to me "You're my hero!" (direct quote) He said that these days, achieving the amount of weight loss that I did without surgery, pills, or anything else was virtually unheard of. According to my previous physical on November 16th, 2004, I weighed in at 308 pounds. Yesterday, my weight came in at 191. 38% of my weight, gone. I think hearing this doctor of who knows how many years tell me he had only ever seen one other person that "did it all on there own" really made me start to realize the level of my accomplishment. But at the same time, there is still a part of me that says, "Well, you wouldn't have had anything to accomplish if you hadn't fucked up your body in the first place."
The other thing he said to me was that how sometimes in order to get someone to make the level of changes I've made you basically have to "take out their brain and replace it with a new one." (another direct quote) That comment really stuck with me, because lately I've really been thinking about the New Shawn vs Old Shawn. It's really hard to explain how distinct the two personalities are in my mind. But for someone who is as introspective as me, they are as different as night and day. Although I'm sure a lot of my recent musings stem from the whole "OMG I'm 30 now, what do I want out of life?" (that I think a lot people my age are going through), another big part of it has to do with the fact that I'm still trying to figure out who this New Shawn is. Shitty part is, I have no one to help me figure him out except for me! (If you're still with me at this point, I'm impressed!)
In the spirit of embracing New Shawn, I went ahead and got some new glasses ordered yesterday as well. I'm really excited and nervous at the same time. They are unlike any style of glasses I've ever worn before, and I honestly believe the only reason they might even look good on me is because of the fact that my face shape has changed so dramatically. For whatever reason, it's almost like they've become a symbolic representation of the change in my personality. Okay so that sounds pretty hugely far fetched, but oh well. This blog is my craziness after all.
1 comment:
You go girl! Next thing you know, I'll see you on TLC getting a whole new wardrobe from Clinton & Stacy. Also, that Megan person, way too cute!
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