Anyway, before I get ahead of myself, I'd like to introduce tonights guest poster. This is a message about friendship, however it is much more positive then my recent thoughts. I'd like to post this because I think it's worth reading, and not just for me. So without further ado, please enjoy tonights special guest blogger:
I certainly don't think your definition of what a "friend" is or was in the past is "wrong" as you said. However, I think as we grow older our relationships with everyone in our lives is going to change in different ways. Part of it is that each of us takes our own path while our friends take their own path. Many times they intersect or run parallel (which may be why we have these particular friends in the first place). But as we continue down our paths, they are bound to take different turns and for one reason or another we may find ourselves with fewer opportunities to spend the same amount of time with our friends as we may have grown accustomed to. Part of the definition of "becoming an adult" or "maturing" is that we take on more and more personal responsibilities and obligations. You have a wife, a baby and, as it seems from today's blog post, many more responsibilities at your job/career. This leaves less time, as it should, for me (for instance) or for RPGs or everything else you had time for while you were 22 and just out of college. That doesn't belittle our friendship, it is simply the way life progresses.
Regarding your current definition of a friend as "a random collection of people from your past that you see every few weeks or months for some idle chit-chat", I have to disagree. As I was trying to allude to above, I don't think the amount of time between visits is necessarily important in defining who your friends are. For me, a friendship means someone who you have a mutual and genuine concern about on a personal level (as opposed to the abstract "everyone is entitled to a good education" i.e. a good social conscience). As far as what you talk about in the times that you do get the chance to get together... I think because of all of the other stresses and pressures in our lives, we many times simply want to relax and try to feel comfortable again when we finally do have the chance to reminisce with someone from our past. But that also will depend on each particular relationship that you cultivate with each individual friend. I would be incredibly happy to discuss with you who the Vikings are going to select in the first round of the draft this year, but I would be even more satisfied to debate about why we should or should not be in Iraq or why South Dakota should or should not be allowed to pass a law banning certain abortion practices.
One thing I've become keenly aware of is that here in Minnesota especially, people tend to shy away from any controversial topic in order to appear polite even at the expense of becoming or appearing boring (which is what I am assuming you are trying to get at when you talk about idle chit chat). I think this last point is where each of us becomes responsible for working hard to maintain the friendships that we want to keep. As we grow up or develop alongside our friends, we should, if they truly are our friends and we do have an unconditional interest in them, know what it is that interests them and what is the best way to interact with them on the occasions that we are able to spend whatever time is available with them. Part of this time, each and every time, we will be learning how the other has grown, matured, changed, etc. etc. since the last time we talked. To me, it is exciting to see.
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